Bombs & Bullets | Cricky [C]

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| Chris' POV |

Having a scope done really did kick Ricky's ass. Christmas Eve is in two days and it looks like my angel will be spending the holidays sick. I'd do anything to take away his pain. If I could, I'd take it on myself. I just want him better. At least we'll be getting the test results back today.

We laid on the couch. Ricky was cuddled up in my lap like a puppy. My phone buzzed and my heart skipped for a half second. It was just Devin texting me. He's insanely worried about Ricky. Those two are pretty much joint at the hip. I understand why he's so upset over this.

"Dev wants to bring by some food on Christmas Eve." I gently spoke as I pet Ricky's hair. "Will you be okay with that?"

He groaned, "I don't want food... But I do miss Devin."

"Alright. I kind of want the food though. He makes really good Stroganoff." I joked. I text Devin back, letting him know a good time to stop by and everything. Then I read some emails and by the time I was done with that, Ricky was half asleep. I gently shook him, "Sweetie, you should go lay down in the bedroom."

"Nooooo. I don't want to move." He whined.

"Fine, but your punishment for being a bad patient is you have to be in my Snap back to Vinny." I said.

"Fuck you and your Snapchat." Ricky sassed me. He covered his face with his hand and dug his head down into my lap.

I still took the picture. It actually turned out really cute so I saved it to my camera roll. Then I sent it to Vinny, along with Devin as well. They told me we were weirdos, but c'mon, we already knew that. It was cute enough to post. I'll wait until he's feeling better to bother asking if it was okay though.

We sat here, watching TV for a while. Ricky fell asleep in my lap. I debated what to do and thought it'd be best if I took him to lay down so I don't disturb him while I make dinner. I picked him up and he barely stirred. Ricky curled up in the blankets just as I laid him down. I shut the bedroom door to let him rest. As I walked in the kitchen, Clairea was sitting on the counter waiting on her own dinner. Now that's she's older, we have to give her soft food.

"I guess it's just you and me for right now." I told her as I went to the panty.

I grabbed a can of smelly cat food and brought it back into the kitchen. She started meowing up a storm and I had to shush her. Even being an old cat, she's still loud. I gave her her food and she hushed up. Then I started to make dinner. Ricky's not going to eat it, so why do I bother? I hope this is something minor. He's a fighter, but that doesn't mean he always has to be fighting.

A half hour later, the phone started to ring. I saw the doctor's office on the caller ID. I don't believe in God, yet I'm praying...

| Ricky's POV |

Even though I had woken up, I didn't get up. I just didn't have the energy. So I sat here, staring at the wall because I didn't want to move. I knew it'd hurt if I did. Outside the bedroom, I could hear Chris faintly singing. He does that sometimes. He just walks around the house singing.

I couldn't help but smile, hearing him sing our song. I don't give a shit how cheesy it is, "I Don't Want to Miss a Thing" will always be our song. In fact I just decided that it's going to be our wedding song. He sounded so beautiful singing it as well. His voice grew closer, and he stopped singing once it got close enough. A moment later, Chris slowly opened the bedroom door.

Clairea pranced in ahead of him and jumped up on the bed. Chris followed behind. He sat on the edge of the bed and ran a hand down my side.

"Hey Beautiful," He gently grinned, "How are you feeling?"

"As shitty as before." I muttered.

"Well the doctor finally called." He said.

I forced myself to sit up. Chris waited on me. He's so patient and loving. How'd I get so lucky to have such a caring man?

"And?" I asked. I was honestly scared of what he had to tell me...

"It's not cancer." Chris smiled and I sighed out of relief. He pushed a lock of hair out of my face as he said, "I told you not to worry so much. You've got a few peptic ulcers in your stomach. He ordered in a prescription for you. I'm going to go to Walgreens and pick it up. Is there anything I can get you while I'm out?"

"No, I'm okay. I'm just happy it's not cancer." I replied. This huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders.

"You and I both, but... Ricky, we finally got you off cigarettes. Do you think after all this, you could stay off of them?" He asked.

I stared for a moment, hesitating, "Y-Yeah, I'll try."

"I know they're stress relievers, but Baby we could find much better ways to relieve your stress." Chris joked as he ran his hand up my leg and winked at me. He stood up and kissed my forehead, "I love you. Call if you need anything. I shouldn't be gone long."

"Okay. I love you." I muttered and watched him walk out of the bedroom.

Quit smoking? He doesn't realize how hard that is. I was able to not smoke the past few days because I've been too sick to even move. When I get better though, I don't know how I'm going to handle it. Devin quit for his daughter and husband. I know I should do the same for my fiance and future children, but fuck it's going to be difficult.

At least I'm healthy and not dying. I know I need to keep it that way. It's just... I use cigarettes as a mute button for anytime I start thinking about Jani. How am I supposed to deal with being haunted by him?