Bombs & Bullets | Cricky [C]

83 | Ghosts

| Ricky's POV |

Have you ever had one of those insanely lucid dreams? To the point you could control what was going on and even feel things? I used to get pretty wild dreams back when I was on antidepressants, but never like this. I knew I was in a dream. Yet, I felt almost as if I was awake.

I was in Chris and I's hotel room. We landed in Paris yesterday to start our honeymoon. The modern gothic room around me was bright from sunshine. I looked down at the bed, seeing Chris was gone. That's how I know this is definitely a dream. He wouldn't leave my side on our honeymoon of all times.

The sheer black curtains were blowing with the wind. The forecast for the week called for calm skies. Another reason this had to be a dream. But, something then happened that not only certified this as a dream, it might've made it a nightmare. I saw Jani out on the balcony. It was hard to miss that green and black hair.

I was paralyzed where I sat on that bed. It might be a dream, but it felt so real. This was the first time I've seen him in a non monstrous state while appearing in my sleep. He's invaded plenty of my nightmares before. This though, this felt different.

Jani turned towards the room. He pushed aside the sheer curtains as she walked in. He didn't have that look in his eyes like he wanted to kill me. Instead, it was that loving one I knew back when we first were together.

"I know I'm asleep," I said softly, "But this isn't exactly a dream, is it?"

He gently chuckled, "No, it's not. I wouldn't expect it to be a regular thing. I have to pull a lot of favors for this."

I stood up and daringly walked closer. Looking up at him, I no longer felt the fear that he'd embedded in me all these years. I cocked a light smile, "So, those favors coming from upstairs or down?"

He half-grinned, "One of the rules about coming here, I can't talk about it." Jani set his hand along my jawline. It was so delicate, like he was handling a precious rose. "You look so beautiful. I've missed you."

I set my hand over his, taking a deep breath. "I... I do miss you, at times. When I'm alone and I see the stars... You look healthy again."

"I'm not in pain anymore." He replied, "And I do get to watch over you. I'm by your side more than you know."

"I knew." I muttered, "I've always just felt you there. Even when I'm alone, I know I'm not. And, I'm grateful for that... I... I never thought in a million years you'd end up being my guardian angel."

"Well, I'll tell you, you're not exactly the most fun to look after at times. You almost gave me a fucking heart attack with that cancer scare. You really should stop smoking, Ricky. For both yourself and Chris, and your kids."

"We don't have kids yet." I said.

He just smiled back, "Yet." Jani winked at me. He brushed a lock of my hair out of my face and sighed, "I see now, even if I was still alive, you belong with Chris. He loves you more than anything in this world, and he treats you better than I ever could. The truth of the matter is, he's your real guardian angel. You don't have to die to go to Heaven. You just need to lay in the arms of the one that you love."

"Thank you." I whispered.

He kissed my head sweetly, "I could never repay you for all the hurt I caused you. Then, even after all I did, you laid with me in my dying hour. Life delivered you Chris on purpose. You deserve someone that loves you that much. He makes you so happy and protects you. That's all I could ever ask for."

"He is my other half. Jani, I don't want you to carry that guilt with you. You're a good man that made some mistakes. You deserve happiness too."

"In life, there were only two people I ever genuinely cared about. You and December. You both have found amazing, strong men that love you more than life itself. That makes me the happiest man in existence. I just wanted you to know how proud I am of who you've become and how happy you are... I've got to go now. Please, watch over my brother for me, and take good care of yourself."

"I will." I whispered as I tried not to cry, "I love you."

He hugged me tightly, "I love you too. And Ricky, the best is yet to come."

With that, I suddenly woke up. I shot up in bed and felt the dampness on my face. There was some rustling in the sheets and Chris turned on the light. He quickly pulled me into his arms.

"Sweetheart, you're crying. What's wrong?"

I sniffled, "Nothing, nothing. Just a dream."

Chris slowly rocked me, "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah," I looked up at him and smiled, "Let's just go back to sleep."

He smiled back at me so brilliantly. Chris placed a gentle kiss on my lips. He reached over and turned the light off. We snuggled back down together, enjoying our heavenly embrace.