Fallen Angels

Chapter 29

"A baby is a blessing.

A gift from heaven above,

A precious little angel

To cherish and to love."

Dear Diary,

It's been awhile since I've have any sleep.. even just a wink. Angel has been the noisest baby in London and believe me, I think the Queen of England can bloody hear her scream at night for food. It's been a month since I gave birth to my beautiful exetremely loud Angel. Weird thing is that as soon as I gave birth, I practically lost all my baby fat in a week. Probably genetic. So today is a Sunday night and I am currently writing in this diary beause I have no idea what to do. Angel has finally gone to sleep in her cot in our bedroom while Luke is snoring his ass off. Yes he's had hardly any sleep either but because Angel is such a loud screamer she can even wake Luke in his sleep and that is a miracle because he can sleep through a tornato, storm or even a heavy earthquake. You name it. Anyway so Drew, Dia and Steven have been helping out with taking care of Angel - including my Aunty and Cousins but I still struggle to sleep. It's like I feel like I am going to loose her like I lost my Mother. I didn't write anything about it because I didn't want to. 2 days ago my Mother decided to overdose herself. I don't know how or why but she did. I may had lost  half of the woman who gave birth to me but now I have lost all of her and now I feel like it was my fault. The doctors say it wasn't my fault but really I could tell that they were hiding something from me but I let it go at the time. Since late Friday this thing that they are hiding from me is really annoying me to the point where I feel like I'm going to explode. I have told Luke and have asked if he knows of anything but he's been silent so tomorrow I am on a mission, do find out what they are really hiding from me.

Hope x

I look at my writing and put the diary and pen down and hid it under the bed mattress. I smiled as I turned to look at Luke and saw him sleeping peacefully - and finally stop snoring so I checked to see if he was breathing. I felt so tired but so awake so I went to the lounge room quietly and turned on my laptop to see that I had 2 emails. I opened the first one to see it was a dress I was looking at awhile ago but deleted it when I saw they wanted over 430.03 pounds for it. I checked the other email and realised it was my doctor.

Hello Hope,

We really need to do a check up on your cancer to make sure it is still all in the clear. I'd like to schedule you as soon as possible even though I am 99.9% sure you are fine. I have heard you have a  baby so when you have time please ring up for an appointment.

Thank you,

Dr . Mel

I signed and looked at the time, It's only 10pm.. I grabbed my phone and rang up.

"Hello this is Mogan Ivy, what can I do to help you?"

the lady asked on the other line.

"Hello this is Hope Primose, I was hoping to get an appointment as soon as possible for Dr Mel."

I asked as I looked at the email.

"Yes of course. Is tomorrow at 10am okay? Not many are in tomorrow."

"Yes thank you."

I smiled as it went silent.

"Is there anything else Miss Primose?"

"Uh is it okay if I bring my baby? I think my boyfriend would like some sleep without the baby home."

The young woman giggled.

"Of course."

"Thank you."

I said as I saw Luke come around the corner making me jump in the dark.

"Fuge Luke, are you trying to give me a heart attack?"

He looked at me sleepishly.

"Sorry I just woke up and realised you weren't next to me so I wanted to double check you were down this end of the house."

Luke said while sitting next to me and cuddled into me with his head on my shoulder.

"I. am. so. fricken. tired."

he said inbetween yawns. I giggled and messed with his hair.

"Yeah so am I but you get to sleep in tomorrow while I go to get a check up as I'm gonna take Angel with me."

"Remind me why you named her Angel?"

Luke groaned as he tried to get comfortable on my shoulder.

"Because she is an Angel."

I stated.

"More like the devil."

I gasped and slapped his thigh.

"Owwww Hoppeeeeeeeee"

Luke groaned.

"Well don't call my daughter a devil. She ain't Satan."

I heard Luke whisper something offensive but didn't take much notice of it as he began to snore on my shoulder. I signed as I looked back at my laptop.

This is the teen mum life + cancer.