"Are you okay?" Alex asks me with concern filled in his tone, but my reply is never specific, because how specific can I get when it contains his safety? I can't bear to even think about him getting in trouble, and that man from the change room gave me the full-on creeps. It's just all giving me a big headache.
"I'm fine, darling, just have a headache." His forehead creases in worry.
"Let's get you some medicine." He decides, going through the nearly empty cupboards. He finds an Advil and gives me some water and the pill. I swallow it down, and hand him the glass thankfully.
"Where would I be without you?"
"Where would I be without you?" He daringly asks, winking. I smile genuinely and turn to the TV as he sits beside me. We bought a beautiful cream dress with the sleeves and partially the back lace.
"I don't know." I shrug.
"Neither do I." He states.
I watch the television, and many times Alex tried to pick on a conversation, but, I kept on giving him small responses and brief glances. Finally, he gave up. "I'll warm up some dinner." I inform him after a while, and stand up to grab some pasta and make some. After all, baking gets my mind off things.
He grabs my hand and his eyes search for mine, for clues, but I tear my eyes away. He knows me too well. I fear he can tell something is wrong, and that would cause him to be in trouble. "Hey, listen, what's wrong?"
"Nothing is wrong!" I snap. I wince at my voice but now that I've started to shout I have to give him an excuse. I reach for the kitchen and start making some Kraft dinner. "I just have a headache, okay? And I miss my parents. Nothing out of the usual has happened so why are you being so nosy in my life?!"
"Nosy in your life?" He sadly asks. "I thought it was our life." His eyes well up.
But I can't back out now. I rub my temples, thinking of what I've gotten myself into. "Maybe it's not our life."
"What?"
" I said, maybe I need some space, okay?" I need him away from me.
"I thought.. What are you trying to state?"
"I'm trying to state that I need space. Me can't turn into us so fast. I can't do this anymore." I defeatedly sink into the sofa, avoiding Alex's eyes altogether because I know that they will make me sob, spilling out everything I've been holding in.
"Are you breaking up with me?"
This is the only thing I can do. I have to do this to keep him safe. Whoever the man is, he wants me, not Alex. If Alex is clear out of my life, I'd go to him. And I don't know what my plan is next, but all I can see right now is Alex, Alex, Alex. Right in my vision even when I'm not looking at him. I snap my head up.
"Yes." I clarify. But I need an excuse. "I don't think my heart forgave you about the Ben thing. You were so stupid, and now I realize you aren't even worth my time. Goodbye, Alex. Please leave." His eyes tear up.
"Why did you let me in?"
"What?"
"Why did you let me in if you didn't forgive me?" Now this is something I haven't thought of. Correction: I haven't thought of anything.
"I was using you." I simply state, and realize that it's actually a reason that can be trusted and believed. "Who would buy me the dress, who would keep me company, shower me with love and affection? I don't have that much money, but now that I've got many clothes.." I trail off, trying to be harsh.
"I don't need you anymore."
YOU ARE READING
Toddlers Until Teenagers
Teen Fiction"Jenna, " she started off. "Remember Alex? Your best friend?" She paused. Tingles fell through my body. Alex Sanders was my best friend. We did every single thing together. We went to beaches, gyms, school, everything. We talked about stuff and wat...
