Beautiful Lies-In the editing process-

Beautiful Lies Chapter 25

It had been three days since I had last seen Tanner. Or, anyone for that matter. My drive away from the coffee shop had led me two hours away, to a hotel. Luckily I had just enough on my credit card to rack up four nights, clothes and some groceries. Once I had purchased the necessities, I planned on spending every minute in that room. The outside world was something I refused to be a part of at that moment in time. I was sure there were bound to be forty million and one missed calls from various people. Mostly Molly, of course.

The afternoon at Moonstruck played on repeat in my mind. More importantly, I couldn't get Tanner off my mind. There were still questions that had gone unanswered, many things left to say. Yet, there I was hiding out in a hotel room, avoiding it all. What exactly I was running from remained a mystery. I supposed I was too afraid to give into my feelings. Too afraid to fall for Tanner and break Aaron's heart.

The latter of my fears was sure to cause an uproar. Quite possibly, it would not end well for me. Knowing that, my thoughts still drifted to Tanner. I couldn't help but wonder how different my life would have been. If the way it played out would have been better or worse. Would I have been the same girl that I had become, or a different me entirely?

Part of me knew how wrong it was to be an engaged young woman and thinking about what life with Tanner would have been like. Yet, the other part of me could not stop thinking about if we had dated. It was hard to picture how he would treat me, but I guessed it would be better than Aaron. No matter what I tried to force myself to think of, my focus always went back to Tanner. For want of a better term, I was curious. An old saying came to mind just then, curiosity killed the cat. Then I had to speculate if my fate would had to have been that of the cat.

***

When the bright, hot sun, shone brightly into my room, I stirred in my sleep. Not wanting to get up and start a new day. More importantly, I did not want to face what had happened at home. Would it have really been so bad to leave it all and never look back?

That was when I remembered I had friends that cared so deeply, there was no way I could just abandon them. In fact, they were all that was keeping my sanity intact. What little of it remained. It was slowly fading. Washing away like the sand on a beach when a wave crashes over it. When the wave retreats, it's taken particles of the sand with it. That was exactly what I felt my sanity was doing.

I slowly, regrettably, pulled myself up and out of bed. Not too eager to start the day, despite the glorious sunshine that awaited outside. It would have been a fair assumption that being optimistic was a quality I was going to lack for quite some time. I just didn't have the energy for optimism. Besides, most of the time, it's far too overrated.

After getting dressed, I made my way to the hotel lobby so I could check out. My feet dragging every step of the way. It was bliss, hiding away here. There was no intense desire for me to hurry back to the cold, harsh reality known as my life. However, it was imperative I did.

Once my room was all paid for, I slowly walked to the parking lot to get in my car. Not willing to make the journey back to everything I left behind. I was going to have to answer questions from everyone, and I was deathly afraid of how Aaron would respond to it all. Molly and Ashur were probably going insane with worry. As for Tanner, I had no idea what he had been thinking, worried too I supposed. So much for abolishing any and every thought having to do with Tanner; obviously it hadn't worked too well.

On the drive home, my head was like a revolving door for thoughts. I would get one and then no sooner had I gotten it, a new one would enter, the old thought being forgotten. The main focus of my thoughts was; you guessed it, Tanner. It was beyond bothering me, but, not in the sense you would think. What was bothering me, is that is wasn't bothering me. There I was, driving along thinking about another man. A man other than my fiance. Someone other than the man I had promised my eternal love to, and I had no problem with it. None what-so-ever.