Beautiful Lies-In the editing process-

Beautiful Lies-Chapter 30

I pulled myself away from him, still a sobbing mess, and went to sit down. Like I was hoping he wouldn't, Tanner followed.

“I'm so sorry Rae. I didn't mean anything by it. You know that , right?”

“I know. It's me I don't trust. Just..nothing is as clear as I thought it was.”

“Sorry.”

“It's not your fault.”

“I feel like it is.”

“Tanner it's not. Trust me.”

"I'll just go.”

“No don't. It's alright really.” Why did I care so much if he wanted to leave. I barely knew the guy, so why on Earth did it matter to me. Confusion, it was rapidly becoming the story of my life.

That was when I noticed how eerily quiet the room had become. Nothing but the sound of Tanner and I breathing. Even that was barely audible. Of course when you have nothing to say to someone, you just stare awkwardly at them or walk away. Unfortunately, I couldn't walk away before staring at Tanner.

Something about his eyes just screamed out for me to stare deep into them. His dark brown hair had grown a bit longer than when I had seen him at club Envy. He looked good then but now, now he looked as much like a god as any mortal man could. Tanned, toned and just a gorgeous hunk of man. I was pulled out of my daydream by a deep voice.

“Rae? You alright?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah. I'm..fine.”

“You seem upset.”

“I am, but it's got nothing to do with you.” Tanner just stared at me as if he hadn't a clue what to say.

Okay so that wasn't entirely true. I wasn't upset with him exactly, but I was upset that he had come along and forced me into a world I was completely unsure of. I couldn't even recognize myself anymore. How was I ever going to make sense of anything when I couldn't even make sense of me?

“What am I doing?” I asked this to myself. Unfortunately Tanner heard and saw fit to answer.

“You're doing what you should. I know my opinion matters little right now, but honestly, I'm better for you and you know it. That's why all this scares you so much. It's why you can't decide. You love Aaron so you want to be loyal and faithful, but deep down, a part of you loves me more and that scares the crap out of you.”

A part of me really did love Tanner, as impossible as it may seem. I felt I barely knew him and it did scare me. Although, hearing it from him seemed to make me angry. Since when could he read me so well anyway?

“Well, that was just what I needed to hear Tanner. Thanks.” Not knowing what to say then, I chose to go with sarcasm. My first defense against stupid. In this case, men and the annoyances they bring.

“Sarcasm, hot.” That was all he said in response. I couldn't tell if he was being sarcastic himself and to be brutally honest, I didn't care.

“Tanner. You have no idea how I feel right now. Likewise, I really don't know how you feel either. Can't you understand that this was confusing enough and now it's that much worse.”

“Is loving me so wrong?”

“Like a giraffe with purple stripes.”

“Wha-,” he started to ask. I assumed he was going to ask what I was talking about. “Never mind that”, he continued. “Why is it so wrong?”

“Engaged here, hello!”

“What's the problem? Just leave him.”

“That's so much easier said than done.”