bts // the bts book

Stop me > Jin

Dedicated CrazyJinshi  thanks for requesting! I hope you enjoy it chingu~~
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It had been days since he left, Jin my best friend recently left to go to Jeju Island. I felt betrayed, he left me even though he knew that I had personal issues...

With self harm.

But yet he just decides to leave to Jeju.. He said it was an emergency though, so I shouldn't be mad. Jin leaving for a few days was the worst thing that could happen to me.

Lately things have gotten worse in my household, my mum who lost my dad a few years back due to an incident. She became a druggie and I couldn't stop her, I wanted too but she believed that by taking drugs it made her forget everything. She forgot too much.

She forgot about me, she forgot that I'm her daughter. She returns home and always asks who am I and then she becomes violent.

When dad died mum had a hard time coopping, she cried every night, she'd blame me..

"SHYVONNE ITS YOUR FAULT." She'd shout in the middle of the night, then barge into my room and an-

I broke down into tears, because she's hitting me right now, at this moment. It's been 5 minutes and she hasn't stopped. I just sit and wait for it all to be over, her slaps burn, her punches hurt. But I'm done, done and dusted. I can't fight back anymore because I've already lost.

Then my world went black, the last thing I saw was mums face in pain.

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I woke up in the middle of the night. With the right mindset, I know how to end this pain. I'm going to do it, I decided.

I then sat up and walked around my house. No sign of my mum, she's probably out doing god knows what. I headed to the kitchen, step by step, my bare feet touching the cold surface of the tiles as I headed to the drawers. I took the knife out and looked at it. It glimmering in the moonlight shining through the kitchen window.

This could end my life. This could make all the pain go away! I started to laugh hysterically, I held the knife in my hand and headed to the living room.

This is where many memories were made, when we were all a real family. I stood in front of the fire place, facing my family picture on top of it.

I lifted up the knife, to chest level.

1

It was inches away from my heart.

2

I let out a few deep breathes.

3-

All of a sudden the door bursted open and I saw in the corner of my eye a tall figure.

"Shyvonne, put the knife down.." It was Jin, I felt so happy to hear his voice.

Then I remembered what I had too.

"No.." I said weakly.

He then ran up to me and I forced the knife in.. But nothing happened, I felt no pain, am I gone already? I then opened my eyes and saw Jin standing right next to me, his hand right in front of my chest.

Then I realised I'd stabbed his hand, I immediately took out the knife making him groan in excruciating pain.

I dropped the knife and collapsed to the ground, what have I done? My hands were shaking as I held then up to eye level.  "Shyvonne.."

I then looked up at him, I felt like a monster.

"... It's okay, at least I saved you." He said with a smile which made me break out into tears.

"YAH. DON'T SMILE CAN'T YOU SEE WHAT I JUST DID TO YOU?" He shook his head, "I feel nothing its okay, as long as your fine." I scoffed in dis belief, "Jin please, stop acting like your fine. It hurts me to see you like that."

"Look.. I had to go to Jeju Island as my mum had passed away, after losing her I don't want to lose you." He said honestly.

"I-I'm so sorry.." I said before blacking out.

This time could it be forever?

Or will I wake up and see Jin again?

But the last words I heard before I blacked out were I love you.