Banding || afi

Chapter 27: I Love You

I woke up with an awful feeling in the pit of my stomach.

Only, I've felt this way before and I never wanted to feel it ever again.

But instead of looking into it, I brush it off my shoulder and get up from the bed I shared with Ashton.

I went to the bathroom and brushed my teeth, ignoring the mirror at all costs.

I walk into the living room and crash on the couch in front of the TV.

I pull my phone from inside my pocket and unlock it.

After turning on the TV, I tap on the Twitter app.

I scroll around and favorite some tweets, until I spotted hurtful ones.

@5_s_o_s_is_s : she doesn't deserve to be in this band. She's a talentless bitch who needs to stay the fuck away from Ashton. What the fuck does he even see in her.

The tweet gained 21 retweets and 54 favorites.

Did people really think this of me?

Scrolling around some more, I stumble upon others.

@ASH_POK3_BALL: miley or whatever her name is from the travelers isn't even talented. she is a fatass and wears too much make up for her own good. even make up can't fix her

@h_n_E_tt : in all honesty, I don't like Riley. I mean who does. She's a groupie that will only flop.

@Ashton_moviesies : Riley is a disgusting hoebag that should cut deeper.

Tears sting my eyes.

Maybe they're right... Ashton is too good for me. I'm nothing compared to the endless amount of girls the fans want him to be with.

I tried to blink the tears away, but that only caused them to fall.

I angrily wipe them away but they wouldn't stop falling. I bolted to the bathroom almost immediately.

I couldn't stop myself from looking into the mirror.

I was so surprised when it didn't break and crumble into tiny little pieces.

I was disgusted, revolted, nauseated, at what stared back at me.

My belly fat, my huge thighs, my fat face, the stretch marks visible along the sides of my waist.

How could anyone idolize me?

Did they just decide to deal with me for the sake of the band?

Ashton.

I don't deserve someone like him or him in general. Whoever thinks he's too good for me is right. I don't have a clue in existence why he considers me likable. Maybe he's only in this to protect me. Maybe he just feels sorry for me. Even if it all means hurting his reputation.

A booming sob escapes my dry lips, echoing around the bathroom. My eyes grow wide as I cover my mouth with both my hands.

Someone please tell me he didn't hear that.

Seeing as though the others aren't anywhere to be seen, my guest is that they most likely went out to eat. Meaning, me and him are all alone.

Not hearing any movement or voices, I assumed the coast was clear. My gaze averted right to the white toilet and I wondered.