Banding || afi

Chapter 33: Pain Part 2

What is it about life that makes it so hard to live?

Is it love?

Is it your dreams?

Your goals, maybe?

Who knows... Other than yourself. But even then, if you're anything like me, I have no clue what it is that is making me feel like total crap.

Death

It's been on our minds at least once in our whole lives. For me, it's been on my mind ever since I was 9.

The thing about death... Is you never know when it will come for you. When your time will suddenly fade to darkness.

You never know if you'll catch a disease, cancer, car crash, murder... Or worst of all. Turning against yourself and ending your very own life.

The grasp I had on the pills made even more blood gush out of my newly open slashes.

"Riley" The familiar voice says again.

I turn my head to the door, blinking away the blurry tears from in my eyes.

"What are you doing here, Luke?" I don't hide my arms away.

"Nevada t-told me to check up on you. They decided to stay- for a reason I do not know... R-Riley..." His tired blue eyes reflect from the bright bathroom lights.

"Y-you..." I close my eyes, inhaling and exhaling to relax myself.

"You should go." I take slow steps backwards.

"Riley... Put. Them. Down. Please. Come here." Luke takes careful steps towards me as his long arms are out to pull and grab me into him.

"Leave." I sniffle.

"Riley. Please. You don't want to do this." His eyes stay wide.

"Please. J-just leave me alone." My bottom lip quivers uncontrollably.

"Ashton didn't mean to. He was drunk. He had no idea what he-" I cut him off sharply.

"Don't say his name! Luke leave me here to die. Leave!" I cry at him and point towards the door.

"No! I will not leave you! You are my friend and I will not leave you!" His voice is hard and angry.

I briskly shove all the pills in my hands down my throat and continue to try to swallow them all.

"Riley!" Luke tackles me to the ground and starts to shove his hands in my mouth.

But it's all too late.

My vision fades to nothing but complete black darkness.

One question and one statement still on my mind.

Where's my white light?

&

I still love you, Ashton Fletcher Irwin.