Banding || afi

Chapter 37: Crying & Shawn Mendes

1. Why did Shawn Mendes push the trainer off of me?

2. Why is Shawn Mendes helping me?

3. Why can't I push myself to say Shawn and not Shawn Mendes?

"That asshole hooks up with every girl he trains with. You should most likely stay away from him." Shawn Mendes chuckles lightly at me.

"Uh-um... yeah-t-totally-sure..." I stumble on my own words.

I can't fucking function.

ONE OF mY INSPIRATIONS IS TALKING TO ME.

"Oh God. You aren't a crazed super fan, are you?" He laughs to himself. He must've noticed my expression.

God, I sure hope I don't sound like a lunatic.

"Look I know you've heard this a million times before but I just have to say it... You are one of the reasons why I started singing. I used to watch complications of you all the time. I was here since Life Of The Party and when it hit number one in thirty minutes. I must sound so stupid but Shawn Peter Raul Mendes, I want to thank you for staying the same throughout the amount of fame you have gained and to continue being the genuine fun loving guy that you are. I might be rambling but I've imagined meeting you and I never thought I would." My hands started to shake energetically.

"That means a lot. I mean coming from the very successful girl that is now living her dream... Knowing I was some type of motivation, makes me so freaking happy. Thank you so much." Shawn opens his arms for a hug and I couldn't help but run into his arms.

He lifted me up off the ground and I instinctively wrapped my legs around his waist.

"I love you so much, Shawn. I will never stop supporting you." I hold on tightly to him.

[{%}]

"Continue" Shawn demands and sips his iced tea before taking a bite of his muffin.

"Me, Nevada, Hayden, and Espen decided to go to their house because we wanted to surprise them and hang out. We heard loud ass music playing legitimately the second we arrived on their street. We go inside confused as fuck and see a shitload of celebrities. Me being me, I almost pissed myself. But umm... I stepped inside and a few minutes in, the girls tried to get me to leave and they kept averting their eyes behind me. So... Curiosity got the best of me and I turned around to face my boyfriend letting his ex grind on him and kiss... down his neck. She was smirking at me once Ashton noticed me." I hadn't noticed I started crying until a warm tear drop hit my hand.

"Is there any more?" Shawn's soft voice asks.

I clear my throat, wiping my tears away afterwards. "I went home and... I-um... Okay, when I tell you this, please don't feel bad or say your sorry or any of that bullcrap. I just need to get everything off my chest." I looked into his eyes and he nodded with his lips forming a line.

"I can't explain to you or to anyone really what the pain felt like. After seeing Ashton in the position he was in, I ran like a little girl and started to cry like the end of the world was near. He followed me and tried to convince me a whole lot of BS. He told me he loved me and tried to hug me n all that crap. I wouldn't listen. Luckily the SUV was still there, so I ran like a man women and jumped in telling him to go back to the apartment."

I took of sip of my Powerade and continued.

"I turned off my phone almost immediately and threw it on my bed once I came home. I ran my hands all over my hair, ripped pictures of us from off the wall. I went into the bathroom and saw nothing. I didn't see myself anymore. I tried to focus and only think about the positives. In the state I was in, I just couldn't find a reason to stay. I cut up my arms, and just when I was about to swallow a full hand of pills, Luke came in and stopped me. Well sorta. I'm just so grateful I get to be on break until February." I took a deep breath and relaxed.