Banding || afi

Chapter 36: "I still fucking love him!"

My heart tugged at my chest, sweat forming on my forehead.

"Calm down. I got you, remember? I'm here whenever you need me." Luke turns around to face me and his lips turn upwards into a reassuring smile.

My breathing grew drastically as the seconds pass by until I heard the car door open and see the three familiar boys step inside the SUV.

Total silence filled the air and I peeked through my black sweater to almost instantly look at the side of Ashton's face.

My expression turns blank as I examine his usually cheeky face.

Ashton's newly cut hair stuck up in all directions. His earbuds were in and on full blast. His eyes seemed to be filled with anything but life. His body sat tensed close to the right car door. Ashton's hazel eyes glistened with tears, he tried to blink them away.

My jaw fell open and my eyes welled up with tears.

Never have I ever, seen Ashton cry.

Not even when his day was complete shit or if he was getting hate... He would always look at the bright side.

Calum who was beside him, wrapped his arms around him and Ashton completely lost it.

"She hates me. I messed up everything I had with her. She's not mine anymore, Cal." Ashton holds on tightly to Calum, sobbing hysterically on his chest.

I started to hiccup as I let the tears fall down my face. I covered my mouth with both my hands and silently cried.

Damn you, Ashton.

„»«„

Have you ever felt like nobody understood you?

Have you ever cared too much, but not at all?

The feeling of loneliness surrounding you and then suddenly you feel your throat burn and all you want to do is get into bed and cry?

Bring Me The Horizon's song, Drown, played on full volume.

Who will fix me now?

Dive in when I'm down?

Save me from myself,

Don't let me drown.

The tears wouldn't stop and I could already feel the gigantic headache coming my way.

Knock Knock

"Hey" I heard Nevada's soft voice coming from the other side of the door.

"Come in" I weakly commanded.

Nevada opened the door with a fluffy blanket wrapped around herself, settling herself down on my bed.

I put my head on top of hers, gently.

"I just want to let you know, I did not kiss Luke or in any way do anything with him. I know you saw those pictures taken at Dunkin' Donuts, you don't have to worry. He's been helping me deal. And-"

"Stop" Nev held her hand up, stopping by rambling.

"I know you would never do that to me. Luke texted me what happened. I'm hurt you would consider the one choice the girls and I have been trying to get you to ignore, but just know we love you more than anything. We will always be here for you." Nevada wrapped her arms around my shoulder and I completely lost it.

"Did I fall for him too easily? Is that it?" I cried.

"Was I that awful to him?"

"I still fucking love him!" I sobbed.

[{}]

Boxing.

After talking to Nevada and eating half of what was inside the fridge, Nev suggested I get my anger out by boxing.

"So is this your first time?" The trainer smiled up at me.

"Yes, it is." I wrapped the cloth around both my hands.

"Well I hope you have the balls and hopefully you're ready." He put his jet black hair in a man bun.

I put my fists up in defense.

"Wrong posture. Still." He chuckles deeply.

I bite my bottom lip as my cheeks go red.

"Here, let me help you." He says.

He comes up behind me and his soft hands guide my hips left and upwards.

He steps away and goes into defense mode.

I smirk and tighten my ponytail.

"Make the first move, Ms. Faye!" His dark blue eyes sparkle in delight.

I trick him into thinking I was going to punch with my right fist but flip the switch and go in with my left.

He reacts fast and pushes my hand behind my back and I go on my knees as he adds pressure.

"Remember, I'm the expert and you're the first timer." He whispers in my ear.

I roll over his back and sit on his neck, yanking both his arms to me.

"Aww. Nice one. Just not that smart." I could just hear his smirk.

He sets himself free and lifts me by my ass, throwing me onto the mat. His knees pin my thighs down while he tightens his grip on my wrists and crashes them to the ground.

"Good work and nice ass." His straight white teeth show.

"Get off of her!" I hear someone say and soon enough, the handsome trainer is roughly pushed off of me.

I get on my feet.

Oh. My. God.

The familiar singer straightens his exercise gear and smiles at me.

Shawn Motherfucking Mendes is smiling at me.

A/N

I KNOW SHAWN IS 17 AND RILEY IS 18 BUT PRETEND LIKE HE IS OLDER

WHATS UP MOTHERFUCKERS

ITS ALMOST CHRISTMAS
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ily <3

-m