Sweet Damnation (Richonne Lemon One-Shots)

Heart Of The Matter

A/N: A/U - Part II of Seeing Through Tears

Song:  Heart Of The Matter By Don Henley

I'm learning to live without you now

But I miss you, Baby

The more I know, the less I understand

All the things I thought I figured out, I have to learn again

I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter

******

She'd lost track of how much time she'd spent standing there, watching the sky, slightly mesmerized by the spectacular view of the sun setting. Michonne loved Bob's lake house, she'd decorated the quaint four bedroom home herself and although it was a chilly October night, Michonne never got tired of sitting out on his balcony.

The moonlight shined down on the black lake, giving the water a white-silver glow, and in the distance, the trees were silhouetted against the deep velvety sky. But soon her distraction fades and a feeling of guilt washed over her, it was her brother's 30th birthday and she was outside alone, her cold hand firmly holding her glass of Merlot. She could hear the sounds of joyous laughter echoing from inside. The party was in full swing, she cringed at how withdrawn, reclusive she'd become lately and it angered her that Rick was to blame, day and night, the thoughts of him consumed her.

A cool breeze came barreling in off the lake, sending a chill through her and she tugged at her leather jacket. Unable to stand the freeze any longer, she reluctantly entered the house. The dark-skinned beauty had managed to make it across the room unnoticed, that was until the sound of a familiar voice crept up behind her.

"You stayed longer than I thought you would." Bob reached for his sister's cold hand just before her other hand grabbed the doorknob.

"I'm sorry Bobby..." she sighed, her eyes lowered, unable to meet his gaze.

"Hey, no need to be sorry lil sis," He pulled her in for a warm hug, I'm just glad you showed up."

"Happy birthday big bro." Michonne managed a smile, wary but bright.

"Thanks, Chonne," he smiled back at her, opened the door, and then added," lemme walk ya to the car."

"No-No, get back to your party, looks like Sasha is feeling good," Michonne smiled as she peered over her brother's shoulder, "she's over there twerking."

Michonne thought her brother would get whiplash the way he flogged his neck in the opposite direction.

"Damn!Good-good night sis..." Bob mumbled as he released his hand from hers. Bob made a beeline towards the object of his affections.

Michonne let out a little chuckle as she watched her brother abruptly push through the small crowd of people. And after a moment, she turned and left. While walking down the driveway, she dug into her purse, fumbling around for her car keys. Once she got a hold of the ignition controller, she pushed the button to unlock the door, steadily walking down the driveway full of cars to get to hers. Unable to get a good visual of her car in the murkiness of the night, she could only pray that no car was blocking hers in.

Her whole world seemed to stop as Rick Grimes emerged from behind a minivan and was now standing six feet in front of her. Both of them sporting twin expressions of dumbstruck and uncertainty. Nether uttering a word as they took in each other.

Rick forced his feet to move and he approached her timidly closing the space between them. Suddenly everything he wanted to say to Michonne completely flew out of his head. He was a blank slate, it was hard to believe she was standing right there in front of him. And in a rush to prove that she was real, he dropped to his knees in front of her, wrapping his arms around her slender waist.

"Forgive me." He said softly.

Michonne had to force her lungs to breath. And the ebony beauty's resolve not to cry crumbled under the weight of his single phrase.

His arms remained locked around her and she was looking down at him, her eyes regretful as tears welled and streamed down her cheeks. And it was the warm rain of her tears that let him know he wasn't dreaming her. Rick was unable to pry himself away enough to look up into her face to see what emotions were playing in her eyes. His arms closed firmly around her willowy midriff, pulling her closer. His face pressed against her stomach and he breathed in that smell he had been missing. All he could do was thank God for the fact she was not pushing him away. It only took a moment for Rick to finally find the ability to look up at her and as their eyes met, they were reminded of how much they could say to each other with just a simple look into each other's eyes.

As Michonne peered through her tears she could clearly see.

He was so scared.

Rick, the king of confidence, was scared out of his mind. It was an expression so unfamiliar to his face that she almost didn't recognize it.

Michonne's brow furrowed. "What are you doing here?"

"My Mom had always told me to fight for the things that mattered, and there is nothing in this world that matters to me more than you," Rick said in a breathless voice. "I came here uninvited to do just that. He paused, searching for the right words. "I'm sorry, God, sorry doesn't even seem like a big enough word to express how wrong I was for accusing you of the things I did," his brows drew together his eyes darting about in concern as if he were searching for a place to hide, "I didn't mean any of it, Michonne. I know you too well. I know you wouldn't do that."

"Never," She shook her head and rested her hand on his shoulder, "You're it for me, Grimes. You were all I want. You're all I ever wanted."

"I thought about you every day you were gone," Rick whispered into the darkness. "I would wonder what you were doing, or if you were thinking of me."

"Why didn't you call me?" She asked, wondering why he'd left her to fix what had been broken for the last six weeks.

"I did once, but after that, I figured it was better if I just shut the hell up until I heard from you. If I could go back, I would have left you a message. I would have told you I was wrong and that I'm sorry for all I put you through. I put us in jeopardy because I was being selfish and hurtful. I'm sorry to have done that to you. Baby, it scared me how much I love you and the idea that I could lose you, not to another man, but because I'm a selfish, jealous idiot almost killed me. I wanted to drink myself into a coma and never wake up."

"I forgive you." She told him stroking his cheek softly, too embarrassed to admit she's forgotten to charge her cell phone on many occasions.

He drew strength from her words and rose to his feet. Big, warm hands found their way onto the small of her back and they both relaxed at the familiar feeling of it.

She seemed smaller than he remembered as he held onto her tightly, practically crushing her body against his as much as he could. She could see something shift in his eyes and for a minute, he looked completely panicked.

Rick was thankful she had forgiven him, but that wasn't enough, he wanted her back in his life.