⇞ wrap your arms around me ⇞carl grimes

A Start

Why wasn't I dead?

I knew I wasn't dead because I could hear the stupid monitor beeping.

That meant my heart was still going.

I slit my throat for a reason.

I slit my throat so I could die. I no longer desired to be alive. I had no aspiration or desire to even stay alive anymore. Which is why I slit my throat.

My eyes fluttered open. I could see Carl sitting at the end of the bed. His eyes were completely swollen and even though he was asleep, it was obvious that he'd been crying his eyes out.

I tried feeling my neck, but my hands were strapped to the bed. Are you fucking serious?

"Get these off of me." I commanded hoarsely, because my neck was like cut open.

"Baby. Oh my god." Carl woke up and immediately rushed near my side. He held my face and I jerked away.

"Takes these off, Carl." I told him emotionlessly. I really don't care. I just want to be out of these. I'm not a fucking Walker or an animal.

"He can't." A woman came from behind a curtain.

"Who the fuck are you?" I asked disgusted at her.

"She's the new nurse Denise. We can't let you out." Carl said very upset.

"Denise, can you please leave for a second? I need to talk to Carl." I asked nicely, but I really wanted her to fuck off.

"I can't. I have to monitor you, make sure you don't hurt yourself." She said sternly and I looked at Carl pretty pissed off.

"Get the fuck out!" I yelled at her, and hurt my throat even more.

"Please, Denise. I swear she'll be fine." Carl asked nicely and Denise looked pretty hurt.

"Okay." She nodded and left.

"Carl, if you don't get me out of these. I swear to god."

"I can't even believe you." He wiped the little tears he had.

"Why would you do that?! Why would you try and-

"Because! I am so sick of this life. Life inside these walls. I'd rather be outside. Out there I know what's expected! I'm so sick of these surprises. I'm sick of just waiting in here, waiting to die. Carl, you can either help me out of these or I'll do it myself." I was trying to scream at him, but my voice was too hoarse so I just sounded stupid.

Carl took the straps off of me and helped me up.

He hugged onto me tight and I didn't hug back. I just wanted to leave.

I couldn't hate Carl for caring. I couldn't hate Carl for wanting to kill Ron for what he did. I also couldn't stay here any longer. I had to leave.

"Where are you going?" Carl asked and grabbed my arm softly.

I calmly continued to walk out of the door and back to my house.

"Bailey! You need to come back!" Denise yelled and I obviously ignored her.

Carl didn't say anything. He just followed me. I walked upstairs into my room. I pulled a black jansport backpack from under my bed and filled it with three sets of clothes. I grabbed the two pistols, 6 full mags, and one long knife.

"Where the hell do you think that you're going, honestly?" Carl chuckled slightly at me. He stood in front of the door and wouldn't let me go passed.

"Move." I told him and looked into his eyes.

"I'm leaving. I told you that. Move Carl." I pushed his shoulder and he slammed against the door.