Disconnected

Chapter Seventeen

Michael

I slam my bedroom door violently behind me and pull my fist up to my chest, wanting desperately to put it through the poorly painted black wall I am standing in front of.

"What?!" I scream angrily as Daniella knocks incessantly on my door to get my attention.

"What was that?" She asks, opening the door and entering my room.

"Do you or do you not feel the way I do Daniella?! Because if not, I am going to put this fist through that wall." I point to the wall next to the window. "I pace my bedroom at night because I can't sleep. Because of you! Your laugh swirls around my head, keeping me awake. Your smile is burned into my brain. And those eyes. God! Those eyes. I am a mess! I know it has not been that long, but I have never felt this way before."

I try to control my anger. I do not want to lash out and hurt her. I want to hit something, that much I know for a fact. I need to calm myself before I even go near her.

"I hate feeling like this. Vulnerable. But I know all of this is for a reason. My mum sent you here for me. For a reason. And my stomach hurts constantly. I want to punch something to make it go away but it never does. And I know that everything is going to be okay in the end. But it won't be if you don't look at me the way I look at you or at least feel something." I finish, feeling out of breath and immediately regretting what I have just said.

Daniella walks towards me.

"Don't. Stay over there. I don't want to hurt you." I hold my hands out to stop her. I am still very mad. I do not want to hurt her by accident. That will not help her like me any better. She would hate me forever.

She forces my hands down to my sides and grabs my face, pulling me down for a gentle kiss.

"Please tell me that isn't an 'I'm sorry kiss'. I can not take one of those right now." I sigh.

"Michael," Daniella strokes my face with two fingers. She gazes in to my eyes, as if looking inside my head for a hidden answer to everything.

"What?" I ask, wanting her to just tell me she does feel something or she does not. I can not stand the waiting any longer.

"You are crying." She points to a tear falling from my eye on to my cheek.

"I am not crying." I state. I do not cry.

"Yes you are." She smiles and wipes the water off of my face, laughing under her breath a bit.

"No." I finish removing all of the water from my eyes and wipe it on my pants.

"I did not know you felt this strongly towards me. If I had known this yesterday-"

"What? You would have accepted my offer?!" I scoff. As if. She is only acting this way now because she does not want to lose her job.

I have to remember that this is only a job for her. Nothing else. This isn't an act for me. I care about her. I wish I didn't. Life would be easier. But I do.

"Michael." She speaks again, so soft I almost couldn't hear her.

"I keep telling myself to stop feeling but it doesn't work. Nothing does. You said you don't want anything and I am trying to respect that but it is really hard." I continue trying to explain myself. I do not even understand this myself. How could I even begin to expect her to?

"Michael, don't tell yourself to stop feeling anymore." She rubs her hands up and down my arms.

"But-"

"But you can kiss me whoever you want without feeling guilty. You can grab my hand and wrap your fingers around mine without wanting to say sorry for violating my space. And don't put your fist through a wall. Because it is going to be okay. It's okay." She smiles softly.

I smile and lean in to kiss her. I stop myself, hovering just above her face. "But that means-"

"That I feel the same way?" She asks.

I nod.

"Let's find out." She pulls on my face until our lips collide.

"I guess that means you do." I smirk. That was some kiss. That would be virtually impossible to fake, if you ask me.

Daniella does have feelings for me. Now I know. And now we can officially act on these feelings. Thank goodness. I do not know what I would do if she turned me down

The doorbell rings, forcing our lips apart. She smiles and leaves the room without a single word.