Always...

Chapter 28

Lily's POV

He said I had to heal my mind... How on earth do I do that?

How do I make myself not have amnesia?

He wants me to figure it out... He wants me to go over the worst time period of my life.

Ok.. Ok. After spending a few hours with my best friends, I was kidnapped by Pansy, Lucius and others.

When I got there I was thrown in a cell. The first day, I was... Raped... By Lucius.

My fiancé's father.

Everyday I was beaten and put down and insulted and starved.

It was like they were keeping me alive just to torture. She enjoyed it. She cackled in watching me in pain.

It went on for three months. No contact with the people I love, no clean clothes, if you can call them clothes- now they're more like rags.

No showers, the dusty floor was making it worse, I couldn't sleep because I'd have nightmares about being rescued, and it's not real.

The nightmares were the worst.

Then I escaped. I don't know why I got out so easily... It was the middle of the day... Wasn't it?

No no it might have been early, what did I see in Mcgonagal's classroom? They weren't students.. No they were the other professors.

It must have been after dinner...
Dumbledore wanted me to remember this. This is how I wont have amnesia.
Oh that sly bastard. He thinks
He wants me to remember the bad things so I can get over them!

That'll be a challenge. I'm physically damaged, hell I am damaged. I can't move because the bruises has bruised my bones and my ribs are killing me.

I can barely breath, I can sort of see out of my eyes but my cheeks are so damn puffy because Lucius enjoyed slapping me.

I have dried blood all over my face, I'm pretty sure my nose is broken? Pansy loved to smack it and punch it so it'd bleed and break- which it did.

I don't even want to look at my leg because I'm pretty sure the bone is sticking out from falling in the classroom.

My head hurts. Really bad. Everything hurts. I miss my family. I miss the Weasley's.

I miss Harry so much.

Don't even get me started on how much I miss Draco.

My best friends, Hermione, Ginny, Ron, Luna and Neville.

I just want to be with Draco in our bed, wake up my friends and family laughing, maybe be with George and Teddy and the Weasley clan.

I miss warmth.

I miss classes, being normal. I mean, we actually reached the level of being somewhat normal.

Now we're going to have to find it, yet again.

Not to mention the mental state my family is in. I want to be there for them and instead I was gone. I don't know for how long...

There is so much to talk about, to deal with, to control. I feel like I'll never get control with my life. Not now- especially not now.

I need help. I know I will get it from Harry and Draco and everyone, but it's different.

It's not the same.

I really want it to be but I have a feeling nothing will ever be the same.

Oh my god. What if Lucius made me pregnant?! No, wait, not possible. I had my period.

Pansy had gotten me extra cloth for it too. That's why i remember. It was her one act of kindness.

Oh thank Merlin I'm not pregnant.

I don't even want to imagine the look of Draco's face if I had to tell him that I was pregnant with his father's child.

Oh... How in Merlin's beard am I going to tell Draco that his father raped me?

Draco's POV

December 25th. Christmas Day. She is not with me. The bed is so empty and cold.

I know Potter is going to be in here soon so I'd better get up. I groan and take the covers off and hop in the shower. It's a quick, cold one.

I quickly get dressed and go out. Saint Potter is already out there.

"Scar face. Again yours is the first face I see every morning." I groan.

"Merry fucking Christmas to you too Malfoy." He says grumpily.

"Yeah? Well it would be better if my fiancé was here to celebrate it with me!" I yell at him.

"She is my sister! And not to mention my twin! She means more to me than she will ever mean to you in a lifetime!" He screams at me.

"I seriously doubt that Scar face."

"Oh yeah? Did she share lunch with you every afternoon by the brick wall in grade school? Did she protect you and stand up with yoi in the 11 years of hell at the Dursley's? She helped me defeat the Dark Lord! She stayed with me through EVERYTHING!" He yells.

"No she just protected me from myself, told me I was actually worth something after 16 years of abuse from my father, she stayed with me even after lying to her and stabbing her in the back, she forgave me for bullying you, Weasley and Beaver, I mean for gods sake! I was the spawn of Satan and she forgave me and loves me! I love her so much it hurts! She isn't here and my heart is aching, literally aching for her. So yes. I do love her better than you, but I can never be on the same level, but I'm going to try so damn hard and I am going to find her so we can celebrate the holidays with the person we both love so much." He says staring me straight in the eye.

I sigh.

"I am sorry. We both love her equally and it doesn't matter who loves her more. Come on, let's go and find her." I say. He nods and we head to the door but were stopped by professor Mcgonagal crying and out of breath.

"Professor?! What's happened?" Harry asks alarmed.

"Lily's alive!"