Chapter 75

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"Zayn, I can explain," I said and walked over to him. My heart raced as I looked at him. An overwhelming sense of guilt swept through my entire body as I looked at him. I didn't even see his car in the driveway. Why was he back so early? He wasn't supposed to be back for a day...

Did he come back early to surprise me only to have me not be home? He probably assumed that I was out partying and drunk, which I hate. I want him to assume that I'm not doing the absolute worst thing, but it's hard to do when I'm proving his assumptions correct.

I had such an emotional time at the party and now I had to confront Zayn. I hadn't prepared myself for this so I had no clue how it was going to go. I could tell just by his body and face that he was pissed at me.

"Please do," He crossed his arms. I was all flustered as I looked at him. I had no idea where to start or how to begin. If I told him a certain way, he would maybe take it the wrong way so I had to be careful with my wording. I felt his gaze on me as I collected my thoughts.

I took a deep breath before I started explaining the entire story back to when I skipped school to help Nicole deal with her possible pregnancy. It took about five minutes to complete and by the end he still had the same look on his face. He hadn't spoken a word or even questioned anything I had been saying and it was terrifying me. I had cried when I told the story but he hadn't come over to comfort me. "Is that it?" He seemed lightly annoyed with me.

"Yes," I sighed and looked down at the ground. "I'm an idiot, I know. It won't happen again." I held the tears back as I looked at my feet. I didn't have the courage to look up at him and see the disappointment on his face. "I really regret it..."

"You said that last time," He stated. His annoyance was still evident and he had the right to be annoyed. I had said the same thing the other times I had gone out and gotten drunk. Although this wasn't as bad as the last times, it was still testing our relationship. I was pushing his ability to trust me to the edge and I wasn't sure how much longer he could deal with it.

"Stop! I already feel bad enough as it is," I said and tears started to fall down my cheeks. He didn't move as he watched me break down. "I'm such a bad girlfriend, I know. And I don't deserve you at all, I know."

"I'm not mad at you for the Mark thing, I hope you know that. You were under the influence and he...he took advantage of you," His jaw tensed as he spoke. He was pissed about Mark and about what had happened. "I am mad that I can't leave town for a few days without you going off the deep end."

"That was hardly going off the deep end," I countered. I wasn't hooking up with random guys at parties and letting them take shots off my body as I would have in the past. Even though he didn't know it, I was controlling myself.

He ignored my comment. "I came home tonight to surprise you and instead I get this. We were going to have such an amazing night and...and now I don't feel like doing any of it."

"We can still do those things..." I sighed.

"How can I trust you, Ava?" He questioned, ignoring what I had just said. "You've broken my trust so many times...I just..." I could hear the hurt in his voice and I just wanted to comfort him but I knew he wouldn't accept my comfort. He was too mad at me to accept it. He ran his fingers through his hair in frustration.

"Please, Zayn. Don't' break up with me." I begged and felt a pit in my stomach. Breaking up with Zayn would be the worst thing that could ever happen to me. He had kept me on such a straight path and I couldn't imagine going back.

"Who mentioned breaking up with you?" He grabbed a jacket and his keys. He sounded angry now and I wasn't going to stop him from leaving. "I'm too damn in love with you to break up with you." He pulled something out of his jacket pocket and threw it across the room. "Maybe we just need a break." He looked back at me before walking out the door. The door slammed shut and my tears came pouring out.

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