His Hidden Wife (A Justin Bieber Story)

Chapter Forty Eight

48 - I pray

'I don't remember falling in love with you. I just remember holding your hand realizing how much it was going to hurt when I would have to let it go.'
- Anon

~*~

Life, it consists of profound events capable of destroying a soul or building one's empire; an essential compound for a mere human being. How important really is a one person's life? Is it substantial to sacrifice one for the good of many? Is it that justifiable? If life is important then how come some people wanted to end it when other's were to take their last breath, wishing their life would've, could've prolonged more? Funny thing how life really works. How unfair. How injustice sometimes it is.

But, again, life is life. We control how we live, how we want us to be remembered, how we make it more interesting day after day. No matter how unfair it is, life is precious. Wishing you were not born or wanting to end it, now that's what makes the game of life nasty. Because if others are striving to live, to prolong their lives even just for a second, a minute or a day, you should too. For life is only given once. Once and then you die. No turning back.

Life, I wish I had more of it. I wish I was... a cat. Funny, a cat. A cat has nine lives, well as what some elderly people were saying. Because if it was true, then, I could die today and then maybe, wake up tomorrow. Haha.

Maybe when you know you're dying and you don't have much time to live, you spent a lot of time thinking about weird things. Like if I die, how would I know it? Would I feel my heart slowly beating and then suddenly stop? Would I go out of breath? Would my soul would just literally get detach from my body? I'm scared. Sometimes, it makes me wonder and then I would get the creeps. I'm scared to die. I'm scared of dying just like most people. But maybe, the most is that, I'm scared to leave the people I love behind.

"Hey." Justin whispered as he cupped my face. "Are you okay now? You scared me."

"Andrea Marie what did I tell you about trying to get out of breath? Or even having heart attacks!" Jacques shouted out of nowhere. I smiled a little at him.

"Dumbass. Its not like she intended to do that." Aruella said, entering Justin and I's room, where I was currently sprawled at the moment with an IV attached to me. "Also please Jacques, do not shout we aren't deaf!" Dr. Mason chuckled at my friend's nonsense.

"So its Justin's fault, isn't it? He scared you, didn't he? I knew it." Jacques continued. "I knew Andrea sleeping beside you was a bad idea." I saw Justin rolling his eyes that I laughed.

"I just want you to know that you are in our house. So keep in mind that whatever goes out from that mouth of yours will satisfy the length of your visit here."

"What? Dude I'm your cousin!" And the noise felt like a lullaby to me. Seeing them here, visiting me because I had an attack this early morning, was making me feel happy and contented.

That's it, right? If you die, you wouldn't get to be with the ones you love. It's not going to be the same anymore. You're not going to wake up beside them. You're not going to laugh, cry or be with them anymore. It's scary right? It's scary to not be with everyone. It makes you think that maybe they'll forget about you, that your existence will seems like as if you had not existed. But, that's how life is right? You live and then you die.

I wonder about mom. Did she felt like this too? I knew she was a strong woman. She gave birth to me and then she died. I thought it was because of me that she went to heaven but dad said mom was already ill and it was such a miracle that I had been born. She gave her all for me to live. But I already had a weak heart back then. Dad knew I was already sick. He's been thriving for me to live. Doctors after doctors. Operations after operations. Just as I had been born, I already went through one. Medicines after medicines. Needles after needles.