Blame it on our Fates

o n e

Song of the day: This is Gospel by Panic! At the Disco.

Comment, vote and follow people!

o n e

There was a small knock on the door followed by opening the door. My aunt Becca stood there poking her head inside through the doorway. She looked pale and had bags beneath her eyes. And also her face was tear stained, her hair a mess of blonde mop. Her black dress was creased and it didn't take a genius to figure out that she was crying. Sobbing to be precise. A small frown etched on her full pink lips instead of the usual sweet and warm smile. But I believe I looked much worse, much worse.

  I looked up by lifting my face from my knees. I wiped my face with the sleeves of my jumper. I looked terrible. I know that from the way she's looking at me. With pity. With sympathy. And you know what's bad? I don't want any of it. Sympathy meant being weak, feeling weak. And my mother always taught me to never look at myself as a weak person. She said I was a strong person, so I had to be strong for her sake, one last time.

  "Look, Cade. I know this is tough times for us, tough times indeed. You don't want to go and neither do I," Aunt Becca said as she leaned down and patted my head, her eyes filled with deep, deep empathy. "But we have to, sweetie. We have to, because it's the right thing to do. She wouldn't have liked you to see breaking down. Please, Cadence go with us and prove that you're strong enough."

    My eyes teared up, even more if that was possible and the tears I had on a restraint, started leaking down my cheeks, leaving nothing but damp pain behind. "But I'm not." My voice was a mere whisper, which made her snap her eyes to me. It was the first time I had spoken in days. Of course she was shocked. I continued, "I'm not strong enough to han-to handle this pain. It feels like I'm numb, aunty and nothing can bring me back."

  My aunt's tears that she had miserably failed to control were now freely falling down and onto my shoulder. "Please, Cade."

  Her heartbreaking voice sent shivers of guilt down my spine, guilt that I just wanted to thrash away. Guilt that was so poisonous, I felt like I was drowning and falling down a cliff at the same time. I couldn't breathe, and even if I could physically, my end was waiting right at the end of the fall.

  She sighed, controlled her sobs and continued, "She would have wanted you to be happy. Please don't do this, Cade. I can't see you like this. You're like my own daughter," she said in an undertone and again broke into another sob.

  I took a good look at her. She was my mother's sister. My aunt Becca. She and my mum had many similarities. The same blonde hair but my mum's was a bit of paler blonde. My mum had straight pale blond hair whereas my aunt had a darker tone and her hair was a mane of beautiful curls.

  She didn't wait for an answer and sat down beside me, against the wall. She then caressed my face with her hand and lifted my chin up, an act that my mother used to do so many times when I was sad and lonely. She used to come and sit down beside me and lift my head so I could see into her eyes. My mum's eyes were the best, apart from her beautiful smile. Her eyes comprised of beautiful pale blue coloured irises and specks of golden hues sparkled whenever she was happy. And that was generally all the time. Whenever I looked into her eyes, my sorrow would disappear. She didn't even need words to lift my mood, her presence was just enough, the presence that left me along with a hollow  burning in my chest and soul.

  "Cadence, listen to me, honey. Your mum loved you, she loved you so, so much that I can't put it in words," She started off. "Honestly honey, she was barmy for you and your brother. And I know you love her equally as much as she did if not more. So," She trailed off and joined her hands in front of me, making guilt gnaw at me. I immediately caught her palm and shook my head. "I'm begging you Cadence, come with us, or you'll regret this chance of not seeing her for the last time."