Chapter 56

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Danny's P.O.V

Seven hours. We were basically blind. We had no clue where she was if she even was anymore. It was only 2 a.m. and we lost hope. Ally was a sobbing mess, Paul wanted to cry but he was trying to stay strong for Ally. I, on the other hand, was numb. I couldn't feel anything. I don't think the realization of all of it has actually hit me yet. No one has told Carrie or Sammy. I called David and Whitney after the line went dead with Jack. Whitney got worried but that's it. David didn't react. He acted like this happened everyday. He didn't care.

Carrie and Sammy were asleep. Paul was still comforting Ally. David and Whitney went to bed. I was in Jack's secret room. The room where she found Paul, Ally, and me. Everything was just as we left it. The pixie lights were hanging from the rafters. The bean bags were laying all over the floor. The empty water bottle we used to play Truth or Dare. Yes, we played Truth or Dare because Jack was afraid she'd have to kiss Paul and she wasn't okay with that.

Jack was different then anyone else. She was more pure. She was innocent. She was shy. She was all the things the nerdy girl in a classic high school romance was. But she was also the exact opposite. She was strong and stood up for what she felt was wrong. She was annoying and stubborn, but that's what everyone loved about her. That's what I loved about her.

I loved the fact that she could so easily piss me off but then immediately notice it and make me laugh at her goofiness. She would try so hard to make sure I was happy. She would always put my happiness before hers. When I was upset, she's drop whatever she was doing and just talk or cuddle or hug me.

I never knew silence could be so amazing. But then again, silence can also be a demon. You could be sitting with the people you love in complete silence and everything could be okay. But you could also be sitting with some of the people you love in complete silence and pray to whoever would listen that some sort of sound would come. Silence can leaving you smiling or it can leave you overthinking every last thing on your mind and cause you to want to stop it all. It can make you do things you seriously regret.

**

Ten hours. 5 a.m. Everyone was asleep. Everyone except for me. I couldn't sleep. I felt I never would until I knew she was safe. I knew that wasn't true. But, everything felt like nothing would be right again until she came back. Until she was back in my arms where she was safe and no one could hurt her. But what if that never happened? What if one day she dies and I never see her again. She's been through so much in her life. I honestly don't know how she made it this far. I wouldn't be able to.

I've seen Paul cry only once before. Tonight, he was bawling. He couldn't stop. I comforted him until he fell asleep next to Ally. I haven't cried since it happened. The actual realization still hasn't hit me. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't cry. I wanted to cry. I wanted to actually feel something. I thought about all the terrible things that could happen to her. I thought of her crying out my name and watching me not even move. I imagined her dying in my arms. I imagine everything that would make me cry on a regular basis. But nothing worked.

All this thinking made me think even more. I sometimes question the delusional thoughts of myself and others, but then again, we're human beings that can't stop our inhumane thoughts. We an't always control what we think, feel, or do. Sometimes it just happens. Self defense. When someone is about to hit you, what's your first instinct? Flinch? Punch back? Scream? We don't mean to do it, but we do. When we think awful things about ourselves and others, we don't purposefully try to. Well, we do sometimes, but sometimes we don't. It's just like how I'm feeling right now. I'm numb. Emotionless. Apathetic. Basically a living body with a pumping heart, but without a soul. A lifeless creature aimlessly walking around the earth. A zombie. The walking dead.

That's all I was. I didn't speak. I didn't sleep. I didn't eat. I was a muted, soulless, lifeless being trying to figure out how to be human again. It was impossible for me to even attempt to feel anything. I had silence take over me. There was no sound. No sound except her terrified screams racking my brain. Her cry attacking my heart. Her laugh slowly running away. Her smile slipping from my fingers. Her pained words filling my throat. Her tears attacking my eyes, threatening to pool out until there's nothing left of her. Until she's just a memory. Until she's just somebody I used to know. Until she's just nothing.

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this was actually a pretty difficult chapter to write. It's not very good. I tried to explain what Danny was feeling but it didn't really end well.... Oops. Anyway, I gotta bathe but I'm gonna try to update another chapter tonight! Kay, possibly see you soon!

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