Wet Paint↠Danny Edge

Chapter 66

Jack's P.O.V

Another day home alone. My mom would leave me with a laptop and some textbooks and tell me she would be back in an hour or so. I didn't blame her. She was scared. She wanted me to be safe and I understood that, but I was scared too. I was terrified. I was constantly being haunted by my own voice. I had an evil twin that only I could see. One that puts me down for her happiness. It's like the sadder I am, the more powerful she is. There used to be so many of her. But now, it's just her and me.

I've gone numb. I've watched the blade drag across my wrist and leg too many times to feel it. The blood sometimes drops out and I still don't feel it. I used to do it to get the monsters and their voices out of my body but now I do it so I could feel something. I feel suffocated. I feel alone. I feel as if I'm screaming but no one could hear me. I feel as if no one would notice if I ran away. I feel as if Ally doesn't even love me anymore. Like Paul doesn't care about me anymore. Like my mom never missed me. Like Danny never loved me.

All of it was too overwhelming. I didn't think I could take much more of it. My heart was shattered and sitting in the bottom of my stomach. My brain was soaked in sadness and hurt. The knowledge part of my brain shut off and I couldn't connect to anything I attempted to do. Everything I did, I somehow ended up stressed out or crying. I would do anything I could. But nothing worked.

I tried texting Danny but it just made me cry even more. I didn't know what to do anymore. I could tell he didn't love me. He acted like it, though, but that was only because he didn't want me to hurt anymore. I couldn't keep living like this though. I couldn't stand the pain all of this was causing me. It had to end. I had to stop it. I couldn't handle anymore of it.

I began writing away. Trying to express all my thoughts and feelings into words on a paper. It was so much harder than it seemed though. To give all these explanations as to why I was feeling this way? Maybe it was the fact that my father had left my family when I was younger and the pain and reality of it all was just now hitting me. Or maybe the fact that my mom gave me up to my dad who didn't even care if I was alive or not just because she couldn't handle me. 

It honestly could've been anything family related or something completely different from that. I'm not quite sure. But what I do know is that it was all too much to handle. I knew Sarah was laughing at me. I knew she was the strongest she could get right now. I'm at my weakest point. I hit rock bottom and kept going. Her voice had changed dramatically. It went from her own wispy, cruel voice to mine. My laugh but more sinister. More demonic.

My voice. My voice telling me things that I now believed were true. My voice calling me things that I never knew I'd see myself as. My voice slowly tearing me apart from the inside. But not only did her voice change. Her looks did too. She went from a faded girl with long brown hair to me. Everything she said about me was true. I would look at myself without needing a mirror. I hear my voice calling me out and telling me how worthless I was. She was there. She was everywhere. She was me. And I couldn't stop it. I had no more strength. She won. Sarah: one. Me: zero.

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hey, so yeah. This happened. Okay, zozo don't kill me when you read this please. Actually, I'd prefer if no one killed me....so yeah. Bye.....

And now it wont publish for some reason okay  bye