Missing him

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~undetermined~
There he went. Gone in a flash. Not a single trace left.

I'll catch myself wondering time and time again. How is he. What is he up too.

Him leaving me was like my soul leaving my body. All color in the world drained. But around me, the world around still goes on. All the beauty stays no matter how dark it seems. Even as everything for me has been lost, there is still beauty. But will I ever find that beauty for myself, with him gone?

That handsome devil. Left without a goodbye. We were having troubles, but to leave me hanging dry. Without much more than a warning was cruel. He ripped my heart out and set it for sacrifice. To protect himself.

I was thrown to the pits of hell. Who knew it was hidden in the pain left from another.

My fingers sift through the photographs on my bed. His face smiling back. Frozen in time these pictures were. Held in a time of happiness. Now seem like a dream.

He taunts me with that effortless smile. Unaffected by all this. I'm left defenseless as the fire rips me apart.

The pictures sprawled on my bed speak of a different time. One where we were together. Sure we weren't always physically together but skype did the job. Countless hours we spent talking. Making memories and listening to music. Several places we were together.

Those subjects, I avoid like the plague. The topics almost like a ritual that has cursed me. The music have become chants that haunt me. The places we spent together became a shrine of us that I desperately hide from.

I fall to my back and lay there. The feeling of loss and regrets burns in my core. His existence always around me, like ghosts of the past the follow me. How can I escape his demon hold that clutches on as death.

Ripping me from the inside out he has unleashed an army of emotions. He has dug them up from places I never knew existed. All by the simple act of leaving.

As toxic as he was I can't get enough. I'll never learn my lesson for I'll crawl back to him. I'd leave him the decency to not contact him but at what cost.

I miss him. And the simple thought renders me as I surrender. Alone on my bed. And alone in this world. Forever he will be beautiful in my eyes.

He left without a word, without a reason. He left for another. He left me, wondering. Where did I go wrong. What did I do to him to deserve this. We had something good. But now left forgotten in rubble.

I am left hopeless and seeking death. But it's part of the process of healing. Like a regular wound it starts out gaping and bleeding. Then comes the swelling. As it scabs it's pink and raw. Only to become darker, when the swelling has gone down but is still there. The state of a dark scab is still painful as it cracks to the movement. The swelling goes down and the scab starts to peel and is black. The little flakes fall off as time passes.

Than you are left with a scar. To forever look at and see what once was a wound. The venom of his name shoots through my body and will forever haunt me.

A knock on my door pulls me out from the clutches of the dark. A soft voice lifts my spirits and adds light to the dark world.

"Lachlan are you there. Please open the door for me." Preston's cheerful voice fills the void.

My feet find the solid ground. That's what Preston is for me. Solid ground. We have agreed that we needed each other. He is my solid ground.

I open my bedroom door to his bright cheery place his presence brings light into my room and I feel a twinge in my heart, the heart that has been stricken numb.

He left me to live life without me. My mere existence means nothing to him. All these questions left unanswered as I'll rack my brain. All the scenarios I can make up as I lay here on my own. Of the the wonderful things we were, the things we could do, and who we are now.

"Lachlan have you taken a shower recently?" Preston says. He snaps me out of my thoughts. I just give him a blank look. He stands out compared to my mess.

Darkness is going down thanks to him. For he can pick up the pieces of my heart.

Here he is. Hope for a better future. The water trickles from my wet hair as I stand in my room.

"That's better," he smiles at me. That bright smile shines through the dark filter and I feel alive. He makes me feel real again. "You don't look like a zombie anymore," he tells me. I watch him walk over to me. I feels his hands through the towel. The cold warms where his hands are and my heart lurches. Could I move on this soon?

"Thanks Preston," I croak. My voice has been unused since the last time I saw him.

~Preston's Pov~

"Can you get that babe," I hear Lachlan yell from a few doors down. "I got it," I replied and head towards the door.

It's been 3 months since I've moved in with him. These past months have only made things better. The only regret was not doing so sooner. When Vik left Lachlan, it was as if he died. All there was left was the ashes ready to be swept away. At the time he was only a friend to me. Being the person I was I made sure he didn't actually die. Nursing him back to stability I finally moved in with him.

Here we are now, a happy couple in a simple apartment. Vik didn't deserve Lachlan. He never gave him any of this.

Ooooooooooo woooooaaaah. Drama alert. Haha anyways sorry for the late update I hope you all enjoyed this one. I tried pulling on the heart strings again. Tell me how that worked out I love all your feedback and reactions. If you haven't noticed I started a contest so you should all check it out. But yeah hope you all enjoyed.

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