Never Remembers

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It was explained to him and made no sense at all.

Scott was confused on why he has gone to find Mitch with Kirstie, to see him in a ball and looking dead. Seeing his room look like a tornado had ran through it. Seeing him look so lost, and out of it when he had been so happy just the day before.

He didn't understand it.

Kirstie didn't go into a lot of detail, she said she was "tired and fed up with things right now" and Scott understood. It was her best friend that had a mental break down.

He had asked Avi and Kevin, but they both said it wasn't their places to tell and if he wanted to know, he'd have to figure it out on his own.

He brings up a glass of water, handing it to Kirstie to set on the table by the bed Mitch was asleep in. She puts a cold wash cloth on his forehead, her hand on his.

"He won't remember." She says suddenly, a tear dripping from his eye. "And he will freak out. He'll be confused and shocked and he won't know how to handle it, that's how it always is. He never remembers, Scott. How do I make him remember?"

"I don't know." Scott says, truthfully. He didn't know what he had gotten himself into when he wanted to meet Kirstie's friends. He didn't know one would have a panic attack about a week after they met.

"He doesn't deserve this. He is such a good person." She says, wiping a tear away from her face. His hand flinches, and she smiles slightly. "I remember in fifth grade, we'd trek into the forest and carve things into trees. When he could talk, he'd always say things like "In ten years, we're gonna come back here and look at this because we will still be besties by then, right?" And I'd always tell him that we would, no matter what. Seven years later, and we still are. I plan on taking him back in three years, too look at our names carved into a specific tree." She lets another tear fall.

Scott felt bad. Not only for Mitch, but for Kirstie. It had to be hard on her, watching someone so important to her break and not be able to control it.

"That's amazing, Kit. He is lucky to have you."

"He almost said my name the other day. I started crying, bawling even. He got half way but it was enough. Enough for me, at least. It's just the fact that he tried as hard as he did. It was amazing."

"Can he say anything?"

"Short words, not much. Simple things like "mom" and "dad, "yes" and "no". He can say superman, it is kind of funny how he can say that but not other things. None of us know how he learned it." She chuckles, putting her gaze back onto the sleeping boy.

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Scott had almost started crying when he watched Kirstie explain what happened to Mitch. She showed him pictures of his room, how he looked and was acting and it made Mitch terrified.

He wrote down that he thought she was joking, that she had to of been because he was fine. At least he was now that he couldn't remember his break down.

That was why Mitch was happy, he never could remember his panic attacks, so it was like they never happened. He brushes it off and goes on with his day, like he normally does. He was happy and joyful and a pleasure to be around.

He sips his water, looking a little distraught from what was explained to him. He didn't believe it happened, mainly because he had no recollection of having one at all.

He hasn't remembered a single one, ever since the first time he had one when he was fifteen.

And this happened every time, he'd be surprised and in disbelief when he hears the story and Kirstie had to watch the same reaction every time. She had to explain it every time and Scott could see how it was killing her. How with every word she said, she wanted to take it back, tell him he was absolutely fine and that nothing was wrong, but he would've gone home to see the gigantic mess in his bedroom, confused and usually thinking someone had robbed him.

Kirstie said he had even called the cops once. She explains to them what happened and of course they understood, leaving the house and getting on with the rest of their days.

Scott heard clicking noises, but tries to avoid them, thinking they're in his own head.

"Superman!" He hears a voice say. It was the first time he had heard his voice, surprised at how high-pitched it was. He had obviously said it to get Scott's attention. He points to his note book. Scott grabs it, placing it into Mitch's hands along with a blue ink pen. He opens it, writing a message into it. He holds it up, allowing Scott to see.

Where is Kirstie?

"She went to the bathroom. She should be back in a sec." Scott says, looking to the bathroom door where Kirstie was.

Did you see me in my room?

"Yeah..."

Sorry.

"It's okay. You can't really control them." Scott says, allowing a small smile to crawl into Mitch's face. Scott smiles himself.

Am I still fun to talk to, Superman? Knowing that I have crazy break downs.

"Absolutely." Scott says, noticing the nickname Mitch had awarded him.

Good. I was hoping I didn't scare you away so quickly.

"You didn't. You won't scare me away, I promise." Scott says.

I hate promises. Don't promise that to me.

"Why?"

Because there is a chance that you will break your promise, and I hate when people break promises.

"Well, I won't be breaking this promise anytime soon."

Don't break it at all, please.

"Never." Scott says. "Not if you don't want me too."

Good.

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