° + * Soramafu Oneshots * + ° (PART 1) [COMPLETED]

20. Love Hurts.

A/N : I'm sorry to put an author note at the front but... WARNING : There will be self-harm in this story. If you are not interested or even, disgusted by the idea, please do not READ this chapter. Btw, this is Soraru's POV.

Every story have its ending. Mine is not any different. But it could have had a different ending.

But it ended like this.

· * ·

"I have to go now." Do you? "I no longer feel the same." But I do. "I'm sorry." "...."

Are you?

I kept quiet, letting the words hit me like bullets. I kept silent as he took his packed bags and walked out.
After I'm certain that he is fully gone, I sank down on my knees. I can almost feel my tears streaking down my cheeks. But they didn't. Why? Why can't I even get the satisfaction of crying? I screamed. It shattered the silence that's pressing me in, suffocating me.
Gone were the days that he used to sit on my lap, pressing his cold lips to my own. When I played with the strands of his hair, chastising him about dying his hair too much.

I missed him so much.

There is no use in crying, I told myself. But I couldn't help myself. So I sat there, in silence, and let the past and the memories to roll past me.

* · *

One day, I picked up a knife and sliced open my palm. Blood seeped out, and the pain is almost too much to bear. Then the pain passed, and it felt like ecstasy to me. I let the blood flow, and stare into the space blankly, hoping for something I know I'll never get back.

· * ·

I finally went out. It was Suzumu that dragged me out, frustrated and angry that I have never stepped out of the house in this three weeks.

I wanted a kiss from him. I wanted his love. I need him. A tear slid down and I wiped it away, not letting anyone but myself to feel the pain.

The deep, unending pain.

I walked with Suzumu, drinking from the Starbucks he bought me. "Hey, Soraru, are you listening?" I'm not. "Hmm..." I hummed. He sighed. But I can't hear anything anymore once I laid my eyes on a particular person, with a face mask.
I reached out, my sleeves brushing my palm, and I cried out in surprise. He turned towards me, and his eyes darkened. He pulled the girl towards him and walked away, quickly.
I called out his name, my voice cracking.

"Mafu!"

No reply.

I turned, not willing to let others see my tears and walked home.

One more cut. The blade dug into my arm, a long cut, already bleeding out too much. My arms are covered with scars, new and old, but I ignored the pain. In my mentally inflicted pain, I did not hear the door unlocking.

"Soraru-san!" You used to call me Sora-chan... I began to lose consciousness. My eyes fluttered close. "Wha...what have you done to yourself?!" The grief in the voice....It almost sound like he still loved me. It doesn't matter.

I managed to stay conscious for a while more, and I forced myself to open my eyes. Mafu, crying, tears falling on my face. I want to reach up and brush them away, but I can't.

I struggled to move my hand, but I can't. Instead I watched, from a far away place, as Mafu screamed at me to wake up.

I'm sorry, Mafu.

I still love you.

A/N : I don't care, I think I'm ending it like this. There will be no continuing part to this. I hope you guys enjoy?

---nomuraaru