° + * Soramafu Oneshots * + ° (PART 1) [COMPLETED]

28. Your Smile

A/N : Anyway, this is written in Soraru's POV, since there isn't really any suicide/depressed Soraru, it's usually Mafu. So I decided to reverse it for this time. Enjoy!

Tears streaked down my cheeks as I drew a long cut from my elbow to the wrist. There's no use. With another scream, I dragged the blade down my arm. Blood spilled from the wounds to the floor, colouring the pristine white tiles with the deep red colour I have gotten so used to.
There's no nothing for me to live for. I let go of the blade, slumping against the wall, listening to the silence in my house. I should die. I stared at the blade, my thoughts a jumbled mess. No one will miss me, right? I asked myself. I'm trash. The society will be happier if I'm gone, anyway. I reached for the blade, but suddenly my phone rang. Startled, I grabbed my phone, blood staining the cover, and checked the caller. Mafumafu.

"Hey." "Ah, Soraru-san, can I come to your house now?" I stared at the mess I've done. "No." "Eh? Then can we hang out today? I've got something to tell you." Is it that you have found someone you love? A lone tear slid down my face as I mumbled a 'yes' and hung up.
Throwing my arm over my face, I said emptily, "As I thought, you'll leave me as well."

I walked towards the park, pulling my sleeves over my cuts. Mafu should not see what I've done to myself. Or else, or else- he will hate me. "Soraru-san!!!" I turned and saw a familiar person running towards me. He recently dyed his hair black, and it really looks great on him. However, I looked- shut up Soraru.
I forced my lips to curve into a smile and waved at him. "You came!" "Of course I did." I ruffled his hair and he blushed cutely. "So what is it that you wanted to tell me?" "I- I love you, Soraru-san." You shouldn't. My smile stayed frozen on my lips, and I stammered out an "Eh?" "I love you," he repeated. I'm not worth it! "I love you too, Mafu." I'm too weak to say no to you.
He broke into a smile and hugged me. "Thank you, Soraru-san!" He kissed me briefly on the lips and blushed. I smiled a little. Finally, I get to taste your lips. "You taste nice, Mafu," I said, licking my lips. He blushed.

I enjoyed the two months with Mafu, it had been bliss. But. "Hey, Soraru-san," "Hmm?" "Why can't I visit your house?" I stopped what I was doing and stared at him. "You want to?" "Yeah." "You're not allowed." "Eh, but why?!" I smiled but did not reply him, instead kissing him on his lips.
I don't want you to see what I do to myself.

One day, when I went home first, because Mafu said he had to do something, I felt uneasy. Then I realized I left my notebooks in my class and went back to school.
My steps stopped as I hear a loud scream. I reached out towards the door but hesitated when I hear voices talking inside.

"You chose that retarded senpai, but not me? What the hell is wrong with you?"
"I can love whoever I want!"
"Not him! You know what kind of person is he, you shouldn't have even be friends with him!"
"Soraru-san is a great person, you just don't know him!"
A laugh.
"Don't lie to yourself, Mafumafu. You know what he does, it doesn't really matter, he isn't good for you."
"No!"
"No? Did you even tell him about all those teasing you have to endure to be with him?"
Silence.

I stared at my arms. That guy is correct. I'm retarded, I'm trash. My notebooks forgotten, I turned away and ran back to my house.
I typed out a message to Mafu, before holding the ever so familiar blade to my wrist. With a soft smile, I slid it against my wrist, where the veins are. Blood is everywhere. As I slowly close my eyes, I smiled a little.

I'm sorry, Mafu.

We can't be together after all.

*°*°*°Normal POV*°*°*°

Mafumafu's phone beeped, and he looked at it. After looking at the message, he gasped, and took off running towards Soraru's house.

"No!" Soraru's lifeless body lay on the floor, a smile still gracing his lips. Tears streaked down his cheeks as he sobbed. "I can't, why must you leave me?!" He pressed a chaste kiss on Soraru's cold lips, but had no respond. "Soraru-san!!!"

Mafu, I love you. When you receive this I'll probably be dead. I wanted to tell you, when you confessed to me, it was the most perfect day in my life. I loved you too. But it wasn't enough. My heart beats for you, but I'm not strong enough for you. You deserve someone better. I'm trash. I can't-I'm not worth all the things you've done. I'm sorry. But please, keep on living, keep on smiling for me, okay? Maybe I've never said this before, but I love it when you smile-

A/N : Okay! This is angst? Since lots of my angst end with suicide and death I'm sorry!!!!! My important exams ended today but I accidentally cut myself so it hurts...... it's bleeding /.\ Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy?
And I need to ask, I felt like making a melost book but I'm not sure so what do you guys think?

----nomuraaru