Give Them Hell

Dallas the Detective

"I'm telling you it's possible!" Dakota yells as Nikki and I walk out into the backyard.

Dakota and Mack are arguing with Bret, Mick, and Tommy. CC and Vince are trying to figure out the barbecue. Bobby, Rikki, and Caroline are playing on the swings with June and Tara. Nikki and I walk over to my cousin, my brother, Bret, and two of Nikki's band members. My brother nods towards us.

"You're late." Mack tells us and I shrug.

"Your point?" I wonder but that pretty well shuts him up.

"Dallas!" Dakota nearly yells.

"Dakota." I mock.

"Is cow tipping a real thing?" She asks and I nod.

"Yeah, totally." I agree and Nikki starts laughing.

"You're such a redneck, baby." He tells me and kisses my forehead.

"It's impossible." Bret states.

"I never thought I'd say this but I agree with Bret." Tommy admits.

"No I remember because we snuck onto the sheriff's property. The cow was on its side." I add.

"Were you drinking?" Mick asks.

"I was seventeen in North Carolina, what do you think?" I ask and he smiles.

"So that's a yes." The guitarist answers and I roll my eyes. "Is there any chance what so ever that you fell over drunk?"

I rack my brain and go back to that night.

I don't really know what possessed Dakota and I to do this. For starters neither of us weigh much more than a hundred pounds and an average female cow weighs almost sixteen hundred pounds about eight times our combined body weight. Second we were sneaking onto the sheriff's land to tip his cows. Oh yeah, we also have a case of Budweiser in our system between the two of us. So we're drunk under aged and going into the sheriff's land to tip his cows. We were going to get arrested.

It was the summer before I started at NC State and before Dakota moved out to Los Angeles. I was seventeen turning eighteen where my cousin was already eighteen. We crawled underneath the fence and crept up to the closest cow. We could barely contain our laughter.

I remember walking up to the cow and almost falling over drunk. Dakota and I pushed our whole body weight against the giant cow. Then the cow was on its side but so were the stars, the fence, and barn in the distance...maybe we did just fall over drunk.

"Uh, well maybe." I admit and they laugh.

The night progressed as a normal Fourth of July celebration. Rikki and Tommy managed to set of the fireworks without lighting each other of fire. CC managed to ask Dakota to marry him without fucking up or falling on his face. June and Tara went inside to go to sleep after the fireworks and we all sit in the backyard like normal people.

This is the last night I'll be with everyone for about a month. I'm heading to the World Cup in Australia tomorrow morning. I'm excited to go back to Australia because I loved it there but I envied it for a while because it pulled me away from Nikki before and I'm excited to play rugby.

I don't want to be away from Nikki while he's home but it's my job and he has to do the exact same thing when he goes on tour. We have worked out a system for when one of us are one tour, we talk on the phone two or three times a day and we pay a lot of long distance charges. Somewhere like Sydney that is nineteen hours ahead of Los Angeles it's harder to call because we're always waking each other up but I honestly don't care all that much about being woken up.

Australia was beautiful and I did love it there. I loved the landscape there, it was so much fun to paint (even though I was more drawn to the stormy Seattle landscape). I loved the beach and surfing, I got pretty good at it as well. We went to the zoo and I got to hug a koala which I loved so much, I wanted one as a pet.

My remaining three years of high school I spent as much time as I could away from my father, with Mackenzie gone at NC State it was just dad and I which I didn't handle very well. Dad was as senile as her was in Seattle but there was no Mackenzie to run interference so I took all of his aggression. Since I was playing rugby again no one question my bruises. So for obvious reasons I didn't want to stay at home.

"So we're losing Dallas again, right after we got back too." Vince comments. "Where to now?"

"Sydney, Australia." I say.

"Have you been back since you moved away?" Mack wonders and I shake my head. "The old man is still there, isn't he?"

"I wouldn't be going if he was. He died a few years ago, remember?" I remind him.

"Oh right." My brother mumbles.

"The amount of respect the two of you have for your father is astonishing." Caroline says.

"Not everyone's dad was a professor at Harvard." I mutter and Nikki hugs me into his side.

"I met their dad, their respect level is about right." My fiancé explains.

"Yeah, I guess Nikki has known the Andrews longer than any of us have." Bret speaks up and we nod.

"Did you ever beat the shit out of Sixx?" Tommy asks my brother.

"I'm not that stupid, Dallas would've beat me senseless." My brother admits which makes everyone else laugh.

"You have a foot and at least one hundred pounds on her." Bret says. "You're telling me that you're scared of her?"

"You're not?" My brother wonders.

"I am." Bobby mumbles, I guess he still remembers me beating the shit out of him with a shampoo bottle....maybe he shouldn't have walked in on me in the shower.

"Yeah, I am too." Tommy admits.

"You're scared of her boyfriend too." Rockett laughs.

"Im not that scary." I try but it makes people laugh.

"Babe, you are kinda scary." Nikki laughs and kisses my cheek.

"Has anyone else noticed that Caroline and Dakota aren't drinking?" I ask, well, I'm actually just desperate for a change of subject.

Everyone takes time to agree with my statement while my cousin and sister in law become more and more uncomfortable. CC and Mackenzie look insanely confused, I think they're pregnant and didn't tell their husband/fiancé.

"Well..thanks Dallas." Dakota mumbles. "I'm pregnant, I didn't want to tell anyone until I was sure I wasn't losing this one."

"I'm pregnant too but I just found out today." Caroline explains. "Dallas is smarter than any of you."

I'm not even that smart, I'm observant maybe. I could be a detective.