Give Them Hell

Neon Pink Umbrella

I woke up to the sound of rain pinging off the old tin roof on the morning of our last day in North Carolina. It's weird to think of a morning in late June, in North Carolina, as grey and rainy but by the looks of outside that's what today is.

I love days like this. I love the rain, the cold, the way the air smells, and everything that comes with a rainy day. Everything seems to move a little slower on days like this and nobody would really mind saying home on a day like this. The only thing that could make a day like this better would be if it was thundering and lightning outside. Then that'd be my ideal day.

Being an artist you find something that inspires you that makes your painting or drawings or whatever your medium is just that much better. With me I've always found inspiration in storms and I'll usually do my best work when it's storming outside. I thrived in Seattle with the storms and the angry Pacific Ocean, it just made my work so much better. I'd skip school on stormy or rainy days and just sit at the beach and paint or drawn or just watch the storm, it used to scare the hell out of Nikki.

I look over to see Nikki still asleep beside me. He knows me well enough by now to figure out where I'd be, right? Would he still be worried? I look over to the alarm clock to see that's it's only about six am, he won't be up until at least noon. I'll be there and back before he even notices.

I quickly kiss his cheek so I don't wake him up.

"I love you, I'll be back in a few minutes." I promise him.

Nikki

This is her kind of day.

Dallas loves the rain and the cold and everything about days like today. That's why I wasn't so shocked when I woke up and she was gone until I remembered where we are. If we were in Seattle, Dallas would be painting or drawing at the beach. If we were in Los Angeles, Dallas would be sitting on our balcony or be at the beach. We're not in Seattle or Los Angeles, I don't even have a guess on where she'd be.

I lost my pregnant wife, this is going to go over great.

I walk downstairs to find Mackenzie and Dakota sitting in the living room with their children. Junie is feeding her little brother DJ, Tara is playing on the floor with some dolls, and AJ is being held by Dakota. I walk into the living room and lean in the doorway.

"I've got a dumb question." I start and Mackenzie laughs.

"Lost your wife, didn't you?" He wonders and I laugh.

"Yeah, how did you know that?" I ask and he shrugs.

"It's raining, Dallas loves the rain." Mack answers simply.

"Yeah, I'm not shocked that she's gone or anything. It's just I don't know where she would've gone here. If we were in Seattle or Los Angeles I wouldn't be so worried but with us being here I don't even have a guess on where she'd be." I explain.

"The woods." Dakota comments and Mackenzie makes a face.

"Dallas is a lot of things but shes not that stupid, she'd never go into the wood. Dallas knows there coyotes out there." He says. "Try the cemetery. When we couldn't find her when she was a kid she always went to go see mom, it used to scare all hell out of gramps. But now that grandma, gramps, and mom are there. It's probably your best bet."

"Yeah okay." I agree.

"You know where you're going?" Dakota calls as I walk away and I laugh.

"I think I can manage." I laugh.

Dallas

I've had this image in my head since Gramps died that I haven't had time to put on paper. It's basically when Gramps died and his spirit or ghost rose up from his body he was greeted by the happy and smiling faces of my grandma, mother, and Aunt Elizabeth. But you can also see the rest of us crying and mourning our gramps' death.

I don't know why it's taken me so long to draw it. Maybe I knew as soon as I could draw it I would have to let go of the childish fantasy that I might walk downstairs one morning and see my mother, aunt, and my grandparents again. Maybe I just couldn't bring myself to relive my grandfather's death. Maybe I needed a North Carolina storm to spark my artistic abilities again. Or maybe I just needed to be with them again.

It's stopped raining but I'm still sitting under a big neon pink umbrella (I think it belonged to Janet) that I found in the front closet, between my grandparents headstone and my mother's. I grabbed a quilt from the living room so I wasn't sitting on wet grass. I'm wrapped in someone's leather jacket but judging by the size it's probably Nikki's or Tommy's. I have my sketchbook in my lap with my art pencils that cost a fucking fortune. Under these circumstances I've finally been able to draw the image that's been burned into my head for years now.

"I'm never going to be used to this, you know that right?" Someone calls and I look up.

Nikki is standing in front of me and I smile up at him. He sits down on the quilt beside me and looks at the sketchbook.

"Sometimes I forget how good at this stuff you are then I walk past that painting." Nikki laughs and kisses my cheek. "You alright?" He wonders and pulls me closer to him.

"Yeah, I'm great." I say and he looks at me. "It's just...I don't know."

"I do, you miss them. You miss them a lot." Nikki tells me. "I can see it in you, baby."

"It sucks because I know our baby will never meet these amazing people." I admit. "Our baby won't meet my mom, my grandparents, or your grandma. It's horrible."

"Maybe they won't meet them but they're definitely going to know them. I'll make sure of that." Nikki laughs and I smile. "Are you ready to go home?"

"I love it here but yeah." I admit and kiss his lips. "I kinda love you."

"I kinda love you too." He smiles and kisses me again.