Hamilton One Shots

Ashamed

Requested by: ruff1258

After the presidency ended for Washington, he never expected to have any reminders of that past he once lived brought up again. And he most certainly never expected it to come in a pamphlet on the doorstep of his estate.

The afternoon it arrived, Washington had been supervising activity happening around the estate, with his usual upbeat energy. Sun hanging in the air behind his silhouette, the day was similar to every other. That was until the mail delivery came by, dropping off the most unique package.

Heaving himself across the fields, Washington thought of it as some plea for him to command in the army again, which at his age was quite a stretch. He reached down and picked up the pamphlet, observing the thin book cover atop what seemed to be almost a hundred pages of many writings.

Shaking his head, he took it inside and didn't give it a second glance until later that evening.

Martha insisted he'd better rest, rather than read through all his papers, like he did almost every night. "I'll only be a moment," he recalled murmuring into her hand, before giving it a gentle kiss, and heading into his study.

Lighting a candle, George illuminated the booklet with a shaking hand. Something about the pamphlet before him didn't seem right. He flipped open the cover, welcomed with a gust of dust and the aroma of newly printed paper.

His fingers brushed over the words, as he read them, and it almost seemed like ink had barely dried. Charge of speculation. Washington's eyes widened. Against Alexander Hamilton.

The name certainly rang a bell. Out of the many people still in the city, making their mark, he hadn't thought Hamilton would start off with a pamphlet. A few lines it was clear to see just how terrified the young man was. His pen must have written with such a speed that he barely had time to read over his speech.

Washington leaned back into his chair, absorbing each delicate word and phrase. One line stood out to his eyes, blazing in the flame of his candle, right away. Lies often detected and refuted are still revived and repeated, in the hope that the refutation may have been forgotten or that the frequency and boldness of accusation may supply the place of truth and proof. He anxiously flipped the page.

Another minute or so passed, leaving the older man gripping at the pamphlet, completely enthralled by the choice of words and intelligence the previous lieutenant used. For whatever the case he wrote in defense of, George believed he was jumping overboard, but at the exact same time, not lying.

Even the great and multiplied services, the tried and rarely equalled virtues of a Washington, can secure no exemption. Upon seeing his name printed on the page, right before his eyes, everything took a turn. He uncomfortably shifted in his chair and continued reading, fearing for the worst.

Washington would admit he skipped over a few pages, feeling a sickening taste fill his mouth with every declaration of innocence. All he truly wanted to know was if with the unique mind he possessed, if Alexander would explain as to why he wrote such a thing. Maybe in the next twelve pages it would be covered.

I owe perhaps to my friends an apology for condescending to give a public explanation.

Ah, there it is, Washington though tiredly. He had little attention span at his age, so he hoped whatever it was the man had been accused of, it would be resolved in the next paragraph. But he knew deep down it wasn't anything good.

As if the lord above answered his prayers, an unheard of name, James Reynolds, appeared on the page. It was right then and there Washington learned the truth he'd been waiting for. An affair and an extortion of money, he dryly reminded himself.

The time that had passed since the two of them were on the field and in command together must have been awfully too long. George sensed a change in the man. He knew it couldn't have been just instinct that brought the scandal to light, it had to have been Hamilton pleading for innocence.

To put his name back in the spotlight with only decent history behind it. Washington shook his head. The man never doubted himself and that often took him too far out. And now he really did the deed with that pamphlet of his.

I should effectually wipe away a more serious stain from a name, the end of the paragraph including his confession read. Washington pushed the booklet away from him. He couldn't read another word of the piece of rubbish that had arrived on his doorstep somehow.

What the older man knew, that Hamilton had no knowledge of, was that anything that the public could rub their hands all over and flaunt everywhere would never be able to be washed away. There would be no forgetting the scandal for the rest of time. He brought it on himself.

Washington flipped through the rest of the hundreds of pages, eyes grazing over each line with little interest. Pages upon pages of proof for what. There was nothing that could redeem the boy he once knew so well.

Feeling another wave of sickness hit, he set down the pamphlet and made his way for the door. He'd only reached it when he heard what he thought to be a rustle of paper.

Due to his sudden movement, the pamphlet had moved slightly in its spot on the desk, with the fire crackling softly beside it. Washington eyes both objects throughly, before completely vanishing outside the door.

He wanted to rest and not think about the pamphlet. To not think of the possibilities that lay ahead for that man who was barely at his forties. So much life was ahead of him, and he couldn't afford to see it be thrown away, in the most disappointing way too.

Martha flipped onto her side, upon feeling her husband enter their bed. "Everything alright, dear?" She gave him a reassuring smile.

If only it was that simple, Washington thought, whilst looking into her eyes. He wondered how many nights Alexander had come home and looked into his wife's eyes and told a lie. That he had been working. Not that he had been hooking up with another woman.

He leaned back into his pillow, not answering his wife. She sensed his discomfort and blew out the candle by her bedside. Silence filled the gap between them until she murmured in that curious voice of hers, "Something's bothered you greatly."

Washington forced a thin smile on his lips, before whispering back, "It's not worth wasting breath on." Pulling the covers up to his chest, he inhaled a deep breath and tried to get any sort of relief from the terrible reality that had crept back just that afternoon.

Maybe when he woke up his heart would be more forgiving and the pamphlet would be only a faint memory. However unlikely that seemed, he wasn't losing hope on that wish.

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A/N: Thank you ruff1258 for the request! This was a delight to write, considering there's not a lot known about Washington's reaction to The Reynolds Pamphlet. He forgave Alexander, but not right away, I'm sure!