"I wanted you so bad that I ignored how badly you started treating me. I'm tired of this back and fourth and always having the same outcome. It's like re-reading my favorite book I know how it goes, I keep re-reading though hoping the end will someh...
I can remember that day and others just like that as if it happened just yesterday. When we were younger, always up to no good riding our bikes, swimming, movie nights and so much more. I really thought our friendship would last. I blame myself sometimes. If it wasn't for me falling in love and confessing it to him then maybe the trio would be just as strong as it used to be.
I can't help who I fall in love with. I don't think anyone can. When it happens it happens and sometimes its with the most unexpected unplanned person. I just happen to fall head over heals over one of my best friends. I have never looked at either James or Nova any other way besides a best friend. I guess it because were now teenagers and going through the process of changing and getting into relationships.
******Flashback Memory*******
I confessed my feelings for him when we were in seventh grade. It was a Friday and a home game for Nova and James. The team won of course. They went out for pizza. Other people, friends of the football team went. As well as some Volley ball players and some Cheerleaders to celebrate the win.
When I arrived I saw Nova and James in line by the drinks section. It's like they felt my presence because as they were laughing at something they're teammate said they both turned around to look at me. I drop my bag to the floor and run the 20ft to get to them. They both had their arms wide open ready for me to jump in them. They always do this, make me choose one or the other and they tally it up to see who I hug the most. They think I love one more than the other. If you asked me last year who I loved the most I wouldn't be able to choose. I love them both the same but for a while now I have been been holding a secret from the both of them. I have had feelings for Jamie since the summer of sixth grade. I have tried so dam hard to not think of him like that. I don't want to let my feelings for him ruin what me, him and Nova have. I've seen it happen before and I don't want to have to choose one over the other.
I run to the middle and instead of running into their arms I go right in the middle of the both of them and duck. They end up hugging each other instead. I laugh so hard at the both of them and walk around them to grab my bag from the floor. They hand me a cup and tell me they already have my slices at their table. We fill our cups with soda and walk to the huge booth that fits about twenty people. It's been months and I'm finally ready to tell him the truth. I'm planning on telling him after this. I can't keep going any longer with this. If he feels the same then great if not then no hard feelings. I probably would need a couple of days apart and the weekend would be good enough to let go of the idea of anything ever happening between us. If he doesn't feel the same way that is. I know I would be able to move on though. I will fall in love again.
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I'm already on my second slice of pizza when Jamie gets up to go to the restroom. I see Stacey get up and follow him towards the bathroom and wait for him outside the door. Stacey is in my volley ball team and a friend of mine. What is she doing? I told her some things about him today and I hope she doesn't put it into her own hands and tells him. I want to be the one to tell him. He comes out a minute later surprised to see her there. They're talking and then they walk outside. What the hell is going on? They've been outside for about five minutes already. Long enough to get the attention of Nova. He ask me where he's at and I just shrug like I don't know and I don't care. He ask me if I'm alright and I laugh and say why wouldn't I be. He looks at me a little longer but Carter ends up talking to him and forgets all about it.
