Tainted Love

Summer!

Its finally summer! I'm so exited for this trip. We got an Rv for the whole crew to travel this summer!Not looking forward to being with 10 people in a Rv but the experience is gonna be worth it i can feel it. 

Nova, Are you ready to go we still have to pick up Andy!

I come out to the top of the stairs and sign to him that I need one more minute. 

We finally have everyone in the Rv and our first stop is Big bear. Were gonna camp there for a week. We finally get to the location and we start setting up our tents. Thank good our camping spot is like a 1 minute walk to the restrooms. Me and Astrid walk to the restroom to see how dirty they are. They're actually surprisingly clean. Theres even shower in there. We walk back to our camp. Its finally getting dark so we start to build a campfire. I love campfires so much we are all around the fire with our chairs. We all are in deep conversation about how were glad that were ending the year strong. 

James, Were here were together and that would have been hard to believe if someone told me that i would be here with all of you guys a year ago. 

Nova, Yeah if someone told me i would be sitting around a campfire with my ex best friend i wouldn't have believed them either. 

The two of them are nowhere near close to being best friends and i don't think they ever will have the relationship they once had. I'm just happy to have the trio together again. It may not ever be the same but I have my day ones with me for my senior year and thats more than enough for me. 

-------Last day of big bear-----

Its our last day here and im gonna try to sleep in my tent tonight instead of in the RV. We told to many scary stories at night and i was to scared to sleep in a thin ass tent than a medal Rv so it wasn't hard to choose. Plus the Rv had a mattress and i wasn't on the hard floor with just a sleeping bag. The girls practically took over the Rv this week and the boys mostly stayed outside. The girls and I agreed to sleep outside on our tents to actually get the camping experience since it was our last day today before we head off tomorrow. 

We all woke up extra early today to go to the lake. We didn't fish and eventually got bored of just looking at the water so we deiced to check out the town. We also had to stock up on some food as we had the munchies practically every night. We bought some souvenirs food and shit we didn't really need but we just had to have. We meet this hippy couple who told us we should come for the winter that its so beautiful up here with snow and we had already decided that we were coming up here for winter break for a couple days. 

It was finally night time. AGAIN we were around the campfire as its the only source of active light we have around us. We all got high and started talking about our futures as adults. That thought scared me but i was ready for it. I always wanted a little family. A boy and a girl would be ideal for me. I was always scared of not being able to have kids for some reason. That was one of my biggest fears. Not being able to conceive a child. I don't have any reason why i can have a child bit i just know that those who want kids the most are the ones who have the most trouble and i know i desperately want kids so not being able to have some in the future scared me. My high was waring off and i pushed those scary thought out of  my mind and passed around another blunt. I wanted us to sing and the only way half the group would sing is if they were stoned.