Tainted Love

7.Astrid

**Astrid's flashback**

 I'm two weeks late and I'm scared. We always use protection. It couldn't have happened. My mom just got me on birth control as an extra precaution Nova! I can't be pregnant! I'm only a freshman!

I was left speechless. She was already scared and then I had to act like a dumb ass guy and tell her if she was sleeping with anyone else.

She started crying with anger this time and yelling at me to leave.

"I'm sorry!, I'm Sorry, I'm just scared and I don't know what I'm saying. I'm just scared were freshman Astrid what are we going to do!?"

"I can always take the morning after pill." She cries even more after muttering those words.

"I know I'm a guy and I don't really know about these types of things but I think you had to take it the morning after you have sex not weeks later."

"I can," she looks down at her hands. They're shaking. She continues.

" I don't want to but I don't think my parents would help me and I'm not sure about your parents... Maybe I can get an abortion. That way You don't have to be a Dad and I don't have to be a Mom this young. I can always put it up for adoption and I can leave you out of it. I won't tell anyone... She starts to sob again... I won't."

I think I know where she getting at.

I grab her and lay her with me on the bed and just hug her. 

"I'm not going to let you do this alone Astrid I whisper to her as I put my arm around her."

 Its takes two to make a baby. I do not believe in abortions and I don't like taking the easy way out. I'm not ready to be a Dad and I know your not ready to be a Mom but I'm still not sure of adoption. I don't know what my parents will say or do and its not like where old enough to get jobs to save money. I'm just so confused.

"Have you taken a pregnancy test?"

"I haven't yet. I tried to buy one yesterday but the lady wouldn't sell it to me. She told me some stuff and made me feel really bad about myself and it made me to scared to go try at another store. I was hoping you can try and get one you look much older than me. I still look like a middle schooler she laughs a little and I laugh with her."
"I will think of something. Just don't do or say anything drastic we're not sure that your actually pregnant. If you are though we will get through it together. Me and you will figure it out I Promise you." I say as i kiss her on the forehead.

I stayed there with her until her mom came home. I told her not to tell anyone anything until we are positive she's pregnant.
"I will find someone to get me a pregnancy test." I told her.
I called James on my way out. I wanted so badly to call May but I was afraid of what she may think of me. I know she wouldn't judge me and maybe be even more helpful than James. I think I just didn't want her knowing that I was sleeping with people already. I know we always talked about losing it to someone we really loved. I don't love Astrid the way I should to be sleeping with her. I care for her and will always be their but I just don't love her the way I love May. I hope I can someday. I hope that someone will come into my life and change it for me. I wish I can fall in love with someone who isn't May so I can finally move on.

"Hey! He answers on the first ring. What's up bro?"

"I- I just really need a friend right now."

"Hey man you good?"

"Yeah can I come over?"

"Yeah, I'm here catching up on some homework."

"Okay I'll be there in 15 mins, I'm on my bike."

"Okay I'll leave the door open just come to my room."

"Okay."

"When I get there I sit on his bed and have my hands on my head."

"I messed up," I tell him.

"What's wrong Nova? I can help you, i'm here."

"I know you are and your the one person I can trust right now. I'm going to tell you but I can't have you telling anyone not even Bella-May and I know that's asking a lot of you. I know we tell her everything. I just don't want her knowing about this."

"Okay? what is it?"

"Promise?"

"I Promise."

"Astrid thinks she's pregnant."

"What your getting laid and didn't even tell me?"

It's then that I see a Bra hidden under his dirty clothes. I get up and grab it with my index finger. "Yeah, we both haven't been telling each other I suppose."

 "Yeah," he kinda laughs, it sounded a little to forced. I was hoping that it wasn't May's but if it wasn't her then he would be cheating on her and he wouldn't do that to her. I try not to let my anger and my mixed up emotions show. I try to think about me possibly becoming a dad at 14. He gets red as hell and changes the subject a little to quickly.

"So you might be a dad? Man I did not see this coming. What do you need my help with?"
He gets the bra and throws it into the basket and throws more clothes on top of it.

"Well I need your sister to get me a pregnancy test. Astrid said she went to get one but that the lady didn't want to sell it to her and was judging her. I didn't want to get it. You know my mom is a well known lawyer and I don't want a rumor going around, that I bought a pregnancy test and have her find out. We are not even sure if she's pregnant yet. She hasn't started her period this month but stuff like this happens all the time...right?"

"Yeah we can tell her right now. The sooner the better.. right?"

"yeah, lets go is she here? I didn't hear anyone else here when I came in."

"yeah she's in the back or probably in the gym room."

We found her in the back working out in their personal gym. She agreed to get me one later that night and give it to her brother so he can give it to me at school tomorrow. She promised she would not say anything.

"As long as its not my little brother then it's none of my business," she said. I told her I'll pay her back but she said it was alright.

I'll just have to wait until tomorrow to get the pregnancy test.

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