Deceiving Veils

Chapter-16 {Shutting you out}

His face was terror-struck as he searched from one end to another. Nandini watched Manik striding restless in search of Aashi and Aryan. She herself couldn't apprehend where did they go and why. Knowing Aashi, she would never leave without Manik. And Aryan won't leave her in middle of jungle, no matter how furious he was.

Manik finally halted to catch his breath and it was not easy to see him that terrorized. Nandini gasped quickly to ground herself. Guilt was making a come back and this time, it was like never before. If it wasn't for her, Manik had never left Aashi. She looked around and tried to find something which could ground her. It wasn't time to drown in guilt.

She walked to Manik and put her hand on his bent shoulder. He spared a quick glance and she quivered anticipating furore.

"We'll find them," she murmured as those eyes kept looking at her without an ounce of anger but an offence as if she didn't have right.

He nodded quickly and gathered himself. She saw him retreating and it broke her heart.

Why won't he let her in?
Her heart twisted seeing him wearing the mask of strong. She so wanted to be there...for him. Because he always came crashing every freaking wall when she was trapped inside with hurt. But in his case, he would just put some more bricks to shut her out. And it hurt... It hurt so bad.
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Manik saw fear in her eyes when she worded that assurance. She had put her hand on his shoulder to gather him when she herself was losing her ground. He could see that pain in her eyes and he could tell for how long she was carrying that weight. There wasn't a single meet of them when he hadn't seen that guilt in her eyes. First, it was for her father's betrayal, then for blood shed in battle, later for being a liability on him;  he could read it so damn clear in her eyes. He could see those clouds of guilt in her eyes again, he knew this time it was about he losing Aashi because of her. She was blaming herself. No, it shouldn't have happened. She was finally relaxing and it was again back, suffocating her.

"Aryan" he shouted in anger. He was angry on Aryan because he was supposed to use his brain while he was away.

Nandini flinched a bit hearing him roar. He called Aryan's name again and again. And each time, it was with untamed anger.

"It's all my fault," she mumbled under her breath as tears finally found a way out. He was away, running away from her. Maybe she wasn't worthy of anything, not of his ire...not even of blame.

Wiping her tears, she gathered herself. She couldn't let this pain hover her mind. It was time to help him in finding his family which he had lost because of her.
"Manik," she called him and walked towards where he was. He saw her coming towards her with a face he could tell was drained out.

"Don't blame yourself, Nandini," he murmured as she approached him.

Gathering all her courage, she spoke, "Maybe we should check in that camp which Aryan was talking about."

Manik looked at her sideways. Her voice had this apprehension that he gulped hard. He didn't want her to feel responsible. It wasn't hers to feel responsible. It was his responsibility and he had made a choice. 

"I think you are right," he replied in subdued tone. 

He looked at her. She was looking down. Twiddling with hem of her coat, she screamed for foreboding even when she was quiet as vacuum. 

He advanced his hand to her. It was inadvertent. He didn't even realize when his hand had asked hers for a hold. She looked at his hand and then at him. Her doe eyes had this astonishment at his action. Even he had this feeling of stagger at his own action.