Tracy

011:

Showered and warm, with a cup of herbal tea on the nightstand, Tracy pulled back the covers on the bed, slid beneath and took a deep breath. She'd never had a day like today, never had a night like tonight.

Everything about Raine Maverick simmered into her awareness over and over and repeated like a skipping record, brightly anticipated and longed for. His eyes were compassionate, right from the start, the first thing she'd ever noticed about him. His looks were regular, dark hair, straight symmetrical features, his back and demeanor ramrod perfect, like what she imagined a military man would be. When he dressed for dessert he tucked in his polo shirt and belted his belt.

And they'd talked.

Like old friends catching up on time lost.

He told her all about his float, his wing, his decision to become an instructor.

She told him all about her solo efforts since Pepper's break up and her decision to go to college in Idaho.

Which was when he asked her why she'd picked a Mormon junior college-- was she Mormon? She had just been baptized a year ago, because Casey, who was a member of the Latter-Day-Saint church had asked it of her. Casey who wasn't actively pursuing any religion or religious belief. And yes, she'd taken it to heart.

He understood, he was a member also, and was getting himself into a more spiritual role, after having spent several years less-active.

The bedside phone rang piercingly sending a shock wave of electricity through her system before she could lean over and answer it. It would be ringing on Mom and Dad's nightstands as well, and she didn't want to wake them up. When she picked up the receiver she could hear the tell-tale clicks of another line.

"I've got it, Mom." She said gently and heard the answering clicks as Coral put the phone back in its cradle. "Hello?"

"What the hell were you thinking?" Casey's strident tones alerted her to his toxic state, and worse, his vehement violent ire. "You told Julian about the gig and the drugs?"

"Michael told him, yeah. I had to go to the hospital. Keep your voice down."

"That was your own fault. You should have just come with me. I needed back up, and your songs--." He was slurring his words. "We have an agreement-- we're getting the band back together and we're getting married. You have to play with me."

"Casey, I'm not marrying you. You're still doing drugs, you're still acting violent and crazy. I don't owe you anything." She was exasperated, knowing she did feel tied to him, partly because of Danny and partly because of their shared childhood. "And legally I am Danny's guardian-- if you're doing drugs I can have him taken away."

"You can take him tomorrow." Casey capitulated suddenly, his voice cracking against glass and echoing oddly. She envisioned him at a bar, on a barstool, clinking heavy tumblers with some frumpy broad.

"Julian said he wouldn't consider getting back together if you tried to keep him away from me." She knew this to be true. As long as Casey was sober he had custody of Danny, but Tracy had been declared his legal guardian in Casey's absence, especially while he was in rehab.

But he wasn't in rehab. Hence the nanny, and his parents.

"I said you can have him tomorrow. In the morning. I'll come with you and we'll have a family thing." His tone was wheedling, his voice held a plea. She felt her heart harden. Too many times he'd taken her for granted, ordered her around and tried to control her by making Danny unavailable. Too many times. She had to take the bull by the horns and be firm.

"No, Case-- I'm taking Danny, that's for sure, but I have legal rights, and if you try to keep him from me again, or blackmail me into --."

"You're such a bitch, Tracy! I need you. You know how much I need you-- and you deny me what I really want. You make me insane!" His tone was so frustrated and so adamant. She was forcefully reminded of his earlier incarnations, the leader of the band, a force of nature, directing every single aspect of her life from what she wore, to how she played, to what she and Jules were allowed to write about. But the worst was that he'd micro-managed so much of the promotional side of things, exploiting their talents and abilities. They were teenagers! He'd taken such severe advantage!

"Yeah-- that's right. I'm a bitch. And yeah, you're right, you need me. But I don't need you, Casey! Do you hear me? I don't need you!" She hung up the phone and lay there shaking.

He was a drunk and a drug addict.

He was a part of her past.

He was an obstacle in her future, drawing her in, forcing her to evaluate her position. He was her nemesis.

*******