Tracy

035:

The wind howled in the eaves of Kirk and Coral's beach house, the trees outside bending and swishing against the upstairs window. Tracy pulled the wrapped towel out of her hair and threw it on the floor. She went to the playpen near the window and adjusted Danny's blankets, making sure he wasn't too hot. Then she softly turned down her own blankets.

Kirk and Coral had gotten all new wireless telephones in all the bedrooms. It was late, so she went out into the hall to make her calls.

"Hey." She said when Julian answered. She loved Jules' sleepy voice, sleepy all the time, never fully awake or aware, his own camouflage.

"Been worried about you, love." He answered and his voice was soft, sweet, never judging, always there for her, even when he was with somebody else, she was his focus. Too bad they were not ever destined to be anything more than best friends.

"I'm okay. The swelling has gone way down. Mom and Dad couldn't tell at least in the living room light." She wouldn't tell them Casey had hurt her, it would break their hearts.

"I'm incredibly sorry that he did that to you." Jules had that power to break through her barriers, say things others wouldn't. They'd grown up together. His concern was real, and said so much more than just acknowledging her pain.

"I'm not pressing charges."

"Too late. The state took that out of your hands. He's in jail as we speak. That'll be on the cover of the Times by tomorrow."

She swallowed. "Why in jail? Why didn't Andrea bail him out? He shouldn't be in jail...." Her voice trailed off, a contradiction of what she really believed. Her heart was very conflicted.

"Assault and battery carry a pretty hefty consequence, babe. He deserved it. A night or two in jail will do him good." Julian wasn't the least bit sympathetic.

"Have you talked to him?"

"I have." Julian sighed, and she heard him, her throat choked up. The thought of one of them in jail was wrenching. It wasn't her image of them--- the foursome, the cute couples, the dynamic pop stars. Even if it was over for good, she couldn't stand the thought of it.

"What did he say?"

"I can't believe you're not mad at him."

"I am mad at him. So, what did he say?"

"He is sorry, of course. He's very contrite, and wants another chance. He is desperate to get the band back together."

"Seriously?" She was astounded, and chagrined.

"What about it? You got your lawyer, I got mine. It'll be like Fleetwood Mac. A business arrangement. We make good music together."

She considered that idea for the first time. "A business arrangement? He won't be able to control us?"

"Emotionally, or financially? He'll always control us emotionally as long as we let him." Julian felt as bad about that as she did.

"Have you thought about us going solo together, Jules? You and I make good music."

"Yeah." His voice was incredibly sweet and knowing right then. "The best."

"Why, Jules? I can tell you don't want to go solo with me. Is it Bridge? What does Casey have on you? Why do you want this?"

"It's not Bridge, she and I are good. It's Case, yeah. It's Case. I'm not like you Tracy. I don't want to go solo. I'm not strong that way. I like to write, I like to drum, but I don't want to be by myself. Not like you. You have it and you shine at it."

"I shine with you." She insisted, her voice rising in modulation, she heard Danny stir in the room beside her.

"No, you don't need me to shine. You shine all by yourself. You always did, and you always will. It's why everybody clamors around you for interviews and attention. You are special."

"I hate it when you talk like this. Just hate it." She pushed open the door to Casey's old bedroom across the hall, and leaving it open, she threw herself across the low lying bed and hit the pillow.

"We were good as four. We can make it as four." Julian went on.

"Because we made it before and that's what we know? That's comfortable? We're riding on the coattails of a major successful phenomenon. If I make it again, I want to make it on our own, because we are good, not because we were a teen sensation." She was mad now, irritated that he didn't see it her way. Wishing that Casey didn't still have such a compelling hold on them.

"You are that good." Julian repeated, his voice tense with energy.

"You're good. We're good together." She shot back at him with a breathy desperate rush. She flipped over dangling her feet off the edge of the bed and hugging the pillow to her. "The situation the other night--- it brought on another episode of the headache shock thing."

"I know. Richard called. He's looking into a doctor that treats EHS."

Tracy blinked at the sudden remembrance of Richard's final parting words on the landing at Austin's. So sudden--- so intimate--- as if they were part of each other. They weren't, she thought in rising panic. They couldn't be--- she was practically--- no, literally engaged to Raine. They'd talked about marriage. She was serious about having the good guy--- not the bad boy actor. She wanted the life Raine could provide.

"What's EHS?"

"Electromagnetic hypersensitivity. You've been around fluorescent and low energy lights, a lot of super incredible electronic equipment most of your adult life. The advent of computers and the way things are changing in our field, could signify an upswing for a lot of people in reactions to these things."

"That can't be real. Like what are the symptoms? You think I'm getting headaches because of the lights? It can't be that. They come on when I'm in the car, and when I'm thinking outside." She scoffed and sighed, having hoped for just one second that there was a plausible reason for it.

"You'll have to call Richard about it." He said dismissing the subject. "There was something I wanted to discuss with you."

"Oh yeah, what's that?" Relief flooded her as she turned her attention to something hopefully less personal. And less to do with Richard Mann.

"I got a call from Haven Willowby. The fan club president over there, stateside. She says there have been a number of threatening letters. She actually felt strongly enough to send them on to the security agency."

Tracy sat up and stretched. "Seriously, huh? Threatening in what way? Threatening to kill us if we don't get back together?" Her short barked laugh wasn't amused.

"Something like that. Threatening to kill you."

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me."

"No, I-- apparently I didn't understand you. Did you say they were threatening to kill me? Why?"

"For that reason. Not getting back together with the band. They want the band back together, and you're the last holdout. Bridget and I have both publicly stated we'd be willing. They even knew that Casey didn't play in the benefit concert. They attribute that to you."

Tracy shivered. "I think I'm getting a headache now."

Julian laughed. "Well, stop it. You're perfectly safe. Jake is outside even as we speak, and Michael has beefed up your coverage. You'll be safe."

"Oh, gees, followed around now? All the time? Gees."

"Call Richard about the headaches, Trace."

"I'm not calling Richard about anything. I've gotta go."

"Don't be a baby." He sounded annoyed.

"I'm not, it's just--- yeah--- I've gotta go." They never said goodbye and he wouldn't call back at this hour and risk waking the household.

She kicked the pillow to the floor and then left it as she tiptoed back down the hall. Maybe she would call Richard Mann--- the headache was getting worse.

******