Tracy

054:

*****054:

Tracy sat on her generic hotel room bed alone, playing her favorite acoustic guitar, one Michael had brought for her from her place in Rexburg. She fingered it absently, listening to her own picking, reliving the energy, the incredible indescribable feeling of the music and being onstage again after five years with Casey and Bridget and Julian. Nothing would ever compare to it, nothing. They had the synergy, they had the magic.

She'd been wildly alive, incredibly charged as if the world stood on end and all the axis changed just for her. Lights, camera, flashing, people, yelling, music. There was nothing even remotely close to that experience and she wanted to hug it close.

They'd partied afterward, danced, laughed, hugged, played more music, taken lots of pictures, jumped on lots of tables. She'd answered a million paparazzi questions, posed with any and everybody. Nothing dampened her spirits.

And instead of being worn out, with this feeling of depression and futility that had hung over her all week, or the stupor of that love scene from the movie, today she felt alive!

There was something inside that wanted to share it. But she knew Jules and Bridge had gone to their room together. It would have been good to talk to Raine, but of course, that was impossible.

She dialed Richard's number instead.

"I've been waiting for you to call, hoping you would." He said as soon as he picked up, knowing it was her.

Tracy went off for five minutes laughing and talking animatedly and with enough excitement to rock his world.

"So, it went okay?" That was an understatement. He'd already seen the news. The concert had been a sell-out success that the industry was sure would promote a whole new season of concert goers.

Off she went again, talking fast, describing the lights, the fans, the music, their rapport on stage and off.

"What about Casey? How'd he do?"

"He announced that he would tour till he died. Which is probably what will happen. He's weak, but he's got the edge. His doctors are right there with him, and he partied all night like the best of them. I think he got rip-roaring drunk."

"Sounds like Case. Cut his time short then, he will." Richard sounded like Yoda.

"How are you doing? How's therapy? Are you getting up?" She turned the conversation on him.

"Yeah the therapist was here, and mom made sure I took all my herbs. No cravings thus far."

"What about the emotional stuff? Guess you were able to think about it clearer than you have for a whole long time? How'd that go?"

"It's tough. Like you'd expect, but I'm coming to terms with it. The missionaries have been over quite a bit. I have to have somebody to talk to."

She laughed. "When are you getting baptized?"

"Will you come home for it? If you will, then I'll plan it for then. Better yet, when are you planning to go see Raine? I'll plan it for that weekend."

She snorted. "Don't be like that, Richard. You're still my friend. I need you to be my friend."

Richard closed his eyes. Back to that again. The friend thing. Could he stand to be relegated to that spot in her life? Did she know what it did to him to have her call him like this, include him in her experiences and then not let him participate?

Better than nothing.

"Okay, yeah, we're still friends. But you're not my sister."

"No, you're not my brother either."

"As long as we're clear."

"We're clear. Get some sleep, friend."

*******