Tracy

050:

******050:

There was fog on top of the mountain, higher up, and it was hard to see. Ski patrol had already been there to warn them. Richard got off the lift and asked if Tracy was still game to take the hardest challenge run on the hill, she agreed and he took off out of sight.

Tracy watched him go, watched until his retreating back in the fog was nothing but a black blur. She wanted to be alone. Breakfast was a nuance hours ago. They'd been skiing all morning and now it was past noon. She was tired and restless, the exercise hadn't done the trick this time, and she still felt the headache, the tightness across her shoulders, the mind-soreness and confusion had set in. She skied slowly, watching for markers.

Oh, how she missed Raine. She missed the steady way he spoke, with authority, and conviction. The way he explained the gospel to her-- she was still a novice, not understanding as much about it as she could. She missed his looks, the knowing ones, the exciting ones. She missed his laughter. He had such a wry sense of humor, startling in its frequency. She missed his observations. He could be so astute, not just about her, but about others. He grasped people's thoughts better than they did.

I want to be a good person. I have a true desire to overcome my selfish tendencies when I'm with him. He makes me want to try harder. He is a good example to me. I want to have that strong faith.

Her life felt like it was in limbo.

Relationships were out of control, people were demanding, and she felt like she didn't know them all well enough. Plans she made were moving too fast as well. Her body and mind were changing too fast. She felt like she was clinging to a rock in the stream now, a stream with an ever-increasing current, that threatened to send her tossing helplessly down its raging rapids, bouncing like a rag doll against sharp and slippery rocks-- completely saturated.

She needed to step back.

It seemed she was forever reevaluating.

She slowly slid to a stop.

Ahead, a clump of trees swirled in the fog. Markers and ski patrol were there, bending over something black on the snow, black and down. Moaning.

She approached warily.

What she saw made her heart clench.

Richard.

"Ski patrol." Said one of the emergency paramedics that took care of accidents on the hill. "Stay out of the way ma'am."

"He's my friend." Tracy cried, as she pushed her way to the front of the stretcher, where they were getting ready to lift him.

"Thanks for that." Richard's voice was still strong, but the pain that filled it was unmistakable.

She grabbed his hand. "What happened?"

"Tree. Trail. Jumped, too fast. What do you think?"

"You're an idiot. You take risks." She mocked him, but her fingers stroking his belied her concern. "Is it your leg?"

"Yeah." They jostled him onto the stretcher and he winced, she could see how pale he was.

"I'm coming with you."

"You don't have to."

"Oh, you think Tambourina Flower's gonna? I said I'm coming." Her eyes caught his and held them. She backed away as the snowmobile started it's slow descent. She followed as fast as she dared.

Once in the ER, Richard was taken away for x-rays and she and Austin waited in the lobby together, fending off reporters.

"Iris is going home." Austin said.