Tracy

043:

He met her at the Bluewater Grill on the water in Newport, saw her pull in and instantly opened her car door and grabbed her wrist. She was hot--- hotter than he'd ever felt her--- and crying rather hysterically.

"Slow down, slow down, baby. Tell me what's got you so freaked out. Slow down."

"It's Casey!" She scream-hissed, her eyes darting to Danny sucking his thumb in the back seat. "He's got that--that terrible killer disease everybody is always talking about. The gay disease! They've both got it." She went on to explain about the circumstances that transmitted it, and how Casey and Jolie managed to get it, hiccupping the whole time, wiping at her reddened eyes till there was no mascara left.

Richard held his head in his hands. "I can't believe it! I'm really sorry."

"I know! I know! I've gotta call Jules. I've gotta get to Coral--- do they know? Do his parents know? I can't believe it either. There's no cure, Richard, no cure!"

"So, I've heard, but there may be new developments or experimental things. He'll be able to afford those treatments, right?"

"I don't know. Honestly, I really don't know. Jolie just gave Danny to me permanently, and I--- I was--I don't know--going out to the house until Monday comes over and I leave for rehearsal." She heard herself babbling the way Jolie had been and was instantly mortified as well as shocked at her discovery. It was sinking in slowly, the ramifications beating on her like waves on the shore. Casey dead--- Danny's father, the band leader, the discoverer, virginity taker. Casey. Jolie, pregnant--- dead....

"Okay, well, calm down, don't give in to the hysteria, you're okay I've got you." He kept a hand on her lower back as she reached in the back seat and retrieved Daniel, looking at her solemnly for the first time as if he suddenly recognized her as his Mommy, and knew he was safe.

They went inside and were seated overlooking the water; Richard ordered some kind of pasta salad and got in Tracy's purse himself to retrieve her Plum Flower and the new regenerative herbs they were both trying.

"I'll stay with you till rehearsal, okay?" He said gently, watching her for any more signs of overload. She seemed to have calmed down immeasurably since arriving. The waitress brought Danny something to color, and some French fries and milk.

Tracy pushed the milk away half-heartedly. "He's allergic."

The waitress took it away apologetically. Richard laid both arms palm up on the table and nodded in Tracy's direction. She placed her hands in his obediently. He smoothed the skin softly, looking at their joining as if it were the most interesting thing he'd ever seen, trying desperately not to think of the raging killing disease that was fast becoming the only thing reported in the news these days. He'd not personally known anyone else who had it, but now, thinking of Casey Crandall dying in jail of it he felt bitterly saddened.

Tracy was rattling away about it, talking about the stupidity of drug use, the hazards they both already knew, and the terrible consequences of it. She spoke of lessons heard in church just yesterday about obeying the Word of Wisdom, found in Mormon doctrine that said evil intent in the hearts of greedy men in the last days would cause many to be deceived and stumble because of improper dietary uses. He nodded, half listening applying her knowledge to himself with distaste. It was even more bitter knowing he was annoyed by her self-righteous blather.

He'd gone with her to the church meeting the previous day. "I didn't hear all that shit--- stuff." He amended with a frank glare. He wasn't mad at her, per se, himself, yes-- but he couldn't admit it.

"You were in the guy's meeting."

"Oh yeah, right. I kind of hate that whole separation thing. Guys go one way, girls go the other. It's secretive if you ask me."

"You wanted to come, you found the whole idea intriguing." She reminded him, breathing easier now that the topic was changing from Casey's impending demise.

"I've been to your church before. I know everything there is to know about it." Their food arrived and gratitude was expressed, as they each took their forks and started in.

"Everything? That's not what you said last week. You said you had a brother on a mission, not that you knew anything. In fact, I'm pretty sure I heard you say you were interested in finding out more because he is a member and you don't understand stuff." She tossed her head. "Correct me if I'm wrong. I don't care what you believe, but be accurate."

He was surprised she'd remembered that after all the trauma she'd suffered that weekend. "You're right." He nodded, taking a bite of his tomato.

"I'm not pushing religion on you, you know that right?"

He nodded with his mouth full. "I know that. You've made it abundantly clear. Abundantly."

"Okay." She reiterated, picking the croutons off her salad. "Just so we're clear. I'm not a pushy religionist."

"Never said you were, Mormon Girl." He winked and she smiled lamely, her mouth full, as she gave Danny all the croutons she'd picked out.

"Why don't you explain to me what we're doing at the rehearsal."

He eyed her critically. "You've had a chance to look over the script, right? Last week, we kind of went through it, remember?"

"Yeah, of course, I remember. I'm just saying I've never been to a formal rehearsal. What happens there?"

"Tonight, day one: we'll just get acquainted. Austin's got some games planned to get to know everybody, become closer. There will be food, and drink--- lots of both, and our visions for the flick will be exposed. Then we'll do another run through. Hopefully, it won't take that long. It'll be the whole cast and crew, all the primaries. But this will be the only time till the cast party at the end. You've made a movie before, didn't you rehearse?"

"It was in the same vein as Yellow Submarine, and Help, or The Monkees. Not real acting. I don't recall any rehearsals. Somebody just told us, go here, go there, play music, sing." She shrugged. "I told you seriously, told you guys, I'm not an actress."

"Again, you've made that fact abundantly--- abundantly clear. You are only doing this under protest."

"Just so we understand each other." She smiled prettily. The reddened eyes attesting to her valiant efforts to stay calm.

"We do." He waved his fork in the air. "Austin and I are completely capable of helping you. We will teach you what you need to know. Every single day. It will be grueling, and exciting and amazing, and very fun." He popped a cucumber in his mouth and chewed, giving more croutons to Danny who had spied them on his plate anyway.

Tracy set her fork down and sipped her ice water thoughtfully. "I trust you, Richard. At least this side of you. I still think you hide the real you inside somewhere, but thanks for letting me trust the sides of you I do know."

"My pleasure, ma'am." He nodded, and chewed again, looking out the window, his thoughts running rampant with his burgeoning feelings, the feelings that currently couldn't be expressed, but longed to be anyway.

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