091:
They walked Temple Square in the light snow, the girls in a double stroller bundled to the hilt, and Danny running ahead looking at the lights. Tracy pushed the stroller, Austin and Lisa walked sedately behind, retelling the story of Pepper's Alignment, wondering how in the world Casey had been able to get three thirteen year olds to play such incredible music.
Tomorrow Richard would enter the Missionary Training Center in Provo, and then head to Australia.
Tracy's mind was on that, but she heard Lisa expounding about Bridget's harmonies and her raw appeal. She personally agreed. Bridget and Julian both had incredible harmonies and a lot of raw appeal.
Someone was likening Casey's control of the young members of his band to Tracy being able to stop Raine from going into the burning house.
Both men were forces to be reckoned with. Both of them had that charismatic ability to get people to do what they wanted.
"Trace, do you feel like you could have stopped Casey from taking drugs, say?" Richard was in on this conversation. She shook her head, humoring him.
"Don't you think you had that kind of influence on him? What? And what if you'd known me eight years ago? Think you could have stopped me?"
"No."
"So, let's take this one step further. Was Raine the type of guy you could force into doing something he didn't want to do? If you'd talked to him more, screamed his name more, would you have been able to influence him not to go into that burning building?"
She was startled into the present, out of her warm fuzzy stupor. "No." She breathed. "I don't think I could have stopped him. He took control of his own situations."
"So the day of the fire." Richard persisted, as Tracy shook off her funk, wondering how they'd gotten from Casey and drugs to Raine and the fire. "Could you have stopped him from going back?"
"No, but he stopped me."
"You're used to doing as you're told for the most part. And he was your husband, your protector, the man who saved you from making a huge mistake with Casey, the man who saved you from being alone."
"What has this got to do with anything?"
"Tracy you loved him because of those qualities about him. He spoke with authority, but he wasn't controlling. He was able to lead, without pushing. He was a true follower of Christ, and that appealed to you. You could no more have stopped him running into that house than you could have stopped me or Casey from taking drugs."
He looked back to Austin and Lisa for affirmation and they both nodded.
"Believe what you will. That's just the facts ma'am, just the facts." He held up his hand to stop any further protest, and Tracy shook her head.
"What was that? One last ditch effort to convince me of my innocence? You already did that at the funeral, Richard. I don't need any last minute pep talks."
"I'm not so sure." He looked into her eyes.
"You're going to be a great missionary. You are so convinced of your own beliefs."
"You're going to miss me."
"Maybe I will, maybe not."
"You'll write to me? No calling."
She blew out her breath. "Not a one. Once you're on that plane, I will forget you for two whole years."
"We'll take good care of her, Richard." Austin reached in and took her hand. "She's safe with us. We're even getting her a new nanny. We've been interviewing. She's got nothing to worry about. She's doing amazing."
Tracy smiled at him, a brave face, as strong of an expression as she could muster.
"You're going to be okay." Richard said. "You're going to act, and produce, and sing and tour. And take those little angels all over with you. I won't even know you when I come back."
"Right." She smiled her fakey smile again. "That's how it's going to be. I'm going to date all returned missionaries and live it up."
"I want you to date, get out a little. Make sure she gets out, Austin. Make sure."
"I will."
Richard looked at her once more and then nodded. He was staying in Salt Lake so he could get up early and go to the temple one more time before heading into the MTC.
"This is it, then. I'll see you guys at the MTC. Mission rules."
Tracy looked at her watch, it was almost ten. She smiled once more for good measure, feeling numb inside, fuzzy and numb. A few more minutes and they could get in the van and head back to Park City and the warmth of her bed.
That's all she wanted.
The warmth of her bed.
*****
YOU ARE READING
Tracy
Historical Fiction"I have never kissed you, Trace, what do you mean?' "Yes, you have. Like on occasion. That first night we met, for Pete's Sake, Richard, have you forgotten?" He frowned. "Those have not been real kisses. Pecks, brushes, not real..." "Well," sh...
