Tracy

081:

         

081:

Richard knocked on her motel room door a week later, feeling the pressures of the week melting away. It had been, in Tracy's words "grueling". Paris hadn't been shot as easy as LA and London, the weather wasn't conducive and most of their shots were outdoors. A series of summer storms had marred an otherwise perfect set. High winds had decimated their locations. They'd spent two days redoing one scene and finally scrapped it.

He heard the scrambling, the laughter as Danny raced Tracy to the door, and they both crashed into it screaming and laughing. The door opened and Danny jumped into Richard's arms, he bonked his head into Richard's as well.

"Ow!" Richard yelled and twirled the little boy around.

"Momma says I'm cooped up and ready to fly the coop." He yelled.

Tracy had slid to a halt on the floor in front of the door trying to catch the flying cherub. Richard adjusted Danny and reached a hand to help Tracy up. She started to reach for him and then ignored his hand awkwardly.

"I'll be just a minute." Tracy said whirling back into the room, which was just a room, not a suite.

Monday sat on the other bed dressing Steven in a blue bib overall suit and packing the rest of his belongings in a backpack. Tracy disappeared into the bathroom.

She came out a moment later, with her hair up under a baseball cap, sunglasses framing her eyes and her own bib overalls over a white t-shirt. She wore red sneakers and several red and gold bracelets. Richard shook his head.

"This is the momma of two children? You look like a teenager." He admonished and laid a hand alongside her back as she passed him going out the door.

Tracy skittered away and covered her skitter with a stumble as if she hadn't meant to skitter, but he knew she had.

"I'm so excited to be getting out." She cried and took Steven from Monday, securing his little body in the front pack she normally carried him in.

Richard had to admit, she didn't look a bit like Tracy McCaffrey, famous pop diva, rock and roll icon, up and coming starlet with two movies behind her.

He was reminded of the concert night, and would have smiled at the memory, if it hadn't been the same night as the kiss.

"Hey." He called as she whizzed past him, she turned to give him a questioning look. "What's this?" He stepped toward her and looked pointedly at her stomach. "Tiny tummy coming?"

Tracy blushed to her roots and Richard was enchanted thinking suddenly that new motherhood was becoming to her. He laughed. "We're going to need loose fitting costumes for Hawaii."

"I'll be covered, don't you worry."

"You?" he hooted. "Completely covered? Wasn't it you who started the barely seen tummy look six months ago? You trend setter, you."

"No worries. I'm not showing off the baby bump any more than I have to. Trend ended. Anyway, that was Casey's get up, I am never immodest."

Continuing in that same line, the baby grinned, showing his one tooth. Richard pulled down his chin as Steven looked at him with big solemn eyes. "What's that toofy you got there, sport?"

"Him got a tooth!" Danny turned Richard's face to focus on himself, not allowing the baby to usurp the limelight today.

"Don't you have a birthday coming up soon, young man?" He tweaked Danny's baseball cap, the matching one to his Momma's.

"I'm going to have my birthday in ooohawiii. Ask my momma, we're gonna catch a fishy!"

"Ooohawiii?" Richard smiled.

"He means Hawaii." Tracy assured him.

"I like oooohawwiii." Richard opened the car door for them, noting the presence of Tracy's faithful entourage and close attendants.

The day was spent with convertible top down, the humidity bringing them again and again to air conditioned museums, and finally to the river ride he'd promised. Danny was thrilled with every aspect of their day and Richard and Tracy simply talked about inconsequential things.

Richard had a screening in Italy before he could go to Hawaii and asked if she wanted to attend – and she did.

The boat ride was peaceful, Steven was asleep after letting them all know for an hour that he was ready for his nap. Tracy sat luxuriating in the summer sun along the Seine. "There's an ABBA song about this." She said softly and sang for Richard, Our Last Summer.

The words were pretty but poignant, telling of a summer romance along the Seine. Richard's eyes regarded her softly, She's beautiful, he thought, with as much inner control as he could muster, her eyes were crystal clear framed with dark lashes curling up softly. Her cheeks bloomed with a soft pink and gold tan from being in the sun a lot. Her nose was small and slightly pointed, her lips full and her teeth flashed with perfect whiteness. Her chin was a trifle square, and her eyebrows winged upward from high cheekbones. There was nothing harsh about this girl, her whole countenance with the softness that was inside and outside her. Only the way she sat indicated her determination and will.

She didn't come across as lacking confidence but he knew the girl he'd held as she cried in confusion when life threw too many curve balls. He knew the girl who ran off into the woods to get away from situations that were out of her control. He knew the girl who ran to the ocean and threw herself in or who cried in the sand, he knew that girl and loved that girl. She was still there, easy for him to read. He knew where she hid inside in the music.

He looked at the baby in her arms, lovely little almost bald head snuggled against her breasts. He glanced at Danny who was listening intently to Momma sing, something in her voice soothed him, something in her voice soothed Richard as well.

He felt the kiss again as the song came to an end. He could feel her warm lips against his as they shared that timeless moment.

He let the cooling twilight breeze off the Seine wash over him, blowing his hair back, her straying tendrils of gold also. The sound of the water lapping against the boat as the rowers rowed them.

It wasn't gone, he thought, he still loved her. Part of this was torture. Part was like getting a transfusion. Necessary, but so deeply held down inside.

She had a camera. She finished singing and closed her eyes for a moment. "Let me take this picture." He said and reached for the camera around her neck.

She gave it to him, and he focused on her, the way the last rays of the sun dazzled her face in a faint pink glow just for him. God had painted this picture. He took several, wanting to etch this memory in his mind. The blue of the river, her overalls, her eyes, her baseball cap, the gold of the sky, her hair and the sleeping baby against her warm skin.

Richard turned away, the terms of the relationship spurring an iron-clad control. He didn't say to himself, she's not mine. He didn't acknowledge anything at all. He simply turned away and let the water of the Seine ease his mind.

*****