Ignorance was Bliss (Random Updates)

Together forever as one

Taking a deep breath I try to smile at the guys but from the look on Kayden's face I think it comes out more as a grimace.

"Holly just talk to us" Kayden says staring straight at me.

How do I even start to talk to them about this? I'm not breaking up with them I'm giving them a way out if they want it. I want them to be completely happy with everything and not just be doing it because they think it's their only choice. They deserve better than me if what Zoe says is true.

"Spit it out Hols" Noah says squeezing my knee.

"I-I'm, well I think- you know-"

"Holly your killing us here just let us know what's bothering you so we can fix it. Please" Finns worried face makes my stomach drop and I feel sick. "Is this about the scratches on your face? Did Zoe do them?" I had forgot about them for a moment there. That's another thing I need to talk to them about.

Noah squeezes my knee again and I look away from Finn to see him give me a nod obviously thinking I'm going to tell them about Mum. Maybe that's how I should start? No I need to talk to them about us. I look to Mitch who is staring at me with a secret smile on his face with red cheeks which makes me smile genuinely at him. He's probably thinking I'm going to tell them about what happened with us.

"Right" I say taking a deep breath. "Basically, I wanted to talk to you guys to find out if you are happy?" I pause looking at all of them to see they have confused expressions. Mitch starts to talk but I hold my hand up to stop him. "Let me get it all out then we can talk ok?" I ask and they all nod.

"I'm giving you a way out." I start and have to put my hand up again when they all start to talk at once. "Please. Just hear me out" they all settle down again and I start again.

"Zoe told me today that I've been stringing you guys along and that you deserve someone who can give you all of them and I wanted to let you know that if you feel that I've been doing that I'm sorry. I have always had feelings for you guys stronger than friendship but never thought that anything would happen so I just kept them buried and carried on as your friendship means the world to me and I guess I ignored anything that I felt could maybe mean you wanted more so as not to get my hopes up" i look around to see their still listen and take another breath.

"If you all decide you still want to continue with this then I will give you all of me. When I am with you individually you will have all of me and our time will be ours and when I am with all of you together I will make sure to spend enough time with each of you. If you think I'm not being fair with my time then tell me. I haven't a clue how this is meant to work but I do know that I want to try." I say looking at all of them and each and every one of them is staring back at me with smiles on their faces making me feel slightly better.

"The way you all make me feel is unreal. I can't express in words how it feels to know you all return those feelings. It makes my heart sore but I don't want to go any further with this if at some point you will want out and I loose you. I know I've said this before but I can't loose you guys but if you are only going along with this because you think it's your only option then don't. I would rather you told me now that you want out and allow yourself to find someone who can focus only on you. Zoe is probably right and I don't realise what I have and don't deserve all of you but I want you all. "I breath out and look down at my hands worried about what they are going to say and scared to make eye contact.

"Your not getting away from me that easy sugarplum" Finn says tackling me in a hug making me fall over on the bed laughing. "I've waited for years to tell you how I feel and to hear you say it back. I don't know what the future holds for all of us but I do know that I see all of us in it." He says squeezing me to him kissing my lips then pulls me to sit on his lap breathing into my hair.