Room 121 (Zayn Malik fanfiction)

Chapter 29 : I pray you catch me

I closed the door behind me and put my hand on my heart. I could feel how it was beating so fast, and I could feel how the hole in my chest started to get bigger at the same time.

The hole where my heart had disappeared when he left me, it was like someone had cut me to open it again. But again, that's far from what I really felt like, sometimes words can't express what you feel and they are really far from the truth.

Words are powerless, but they can hurt you the most at the same time. It's like when you fall in love, you are strong and weak. You think you're invincible but only one person can save you and when this person is not here anymore who is going to catch you if you fall ?

I thought I was strong enough. But I have to admit it, I wasn't that strong. I ran away from this situation because I was scared, I was scared about my feelings.

Those feelings which never disappeared. And if I doubted about it, the second I saw him, I knew. I knew everything was in my mind and in my heart, still.

But when the lights don't glow the same way that they used to, you found yourself alone in the night. And even if you're trying to fix it, you can't light a fire if the candle's melted.

I tried to forget him, but I can't.
I tried to forgive him, but I can't.

Once again, he left me without no answer, he left me on my own. How someone who is supposed to love you can do that ?

Because they don't love you, not enough.

And I was tired to be the one who loves the most, to be the one who gets hurt in the end.

I took a deep breath and took a tissue to wipe my eyes, as Logan was still in the bathroom and I didn't want him to ask questions. I tried to remain neutral even if I'm pretty sure my face wasn't neutral at all. And so do my feelings.

I went into the bedroom and sat on my bed, Logan walked out from the bathroom at the same time. Then, he came to me as he saw that I was standing there, doing nothing.

"Hey, what are you doing like this ? Something's wrong ?"

"Nothing important. I'm fine." I faked a smile.

"Oh, ok then..."

Logan took my hand and made me stand up, then he put it down my back to get me closer. His other hand was at the back of my head, he leaned for a kiss and I let him do. Quite passive.

"You drive me crazy don't you know that ?" He whispered into my ear.

Then he took my face between his hands and kissed me with more passion, the taste of his lips on mine. He pressed his body against me and lifted my leg with his hand as I could feel his crotch between my thighs.

Then his hand started to touch my inner thigh while the other one was firmly holding my neck. Logan kissed me with more and more passion and I could clearly feel the shape of his cock under his clothes, rubbing against my body. I knew what he was about to do, and I wasn't really in the mood to do that. I turned my head to make him stop kissing me and pushed him a bit.

"Logan...please...don't."

"I've been patient with you, I think I deserve it, now."

Then he firmly took my face between his hands and kissed me urgently, fiercely. I put my hands on his chest to push him away but he was stronger than me, he didn't move an inch and I started to grumble.