wrongfully convicted

Chapter 4 Nightmares

(2 months at the nut house)

There I was back in that same dream I was in last night. I'm standing in the middle of the road in the middle of the night, it’s pitch black and my Mom’s body, dressed in a bloody rag, hovers in front of me " why, April, why did you do this to us?" she whispers. I cry out to her "mom, I didn't do this, please, please tell me who did this to you, to us please mom" But the only response I get is" April, please, please help me" followed by an ear shattering scream.

I shoot out of bed, sweat soaking my pajamas, my heart racing, and my breathing out of control. I focus on my breathing to help calm myself. “Damnit, these meds are not working, I have to tell Mr. Jones I need something different.”

I climb back into bed and lie there, looking out of the window, up at the stars. "Mom, I didn't do this but I promise to find out who did" whisper to the stars as if they are my parents. I feel the tears streaming down my check, something I have grown accustomed to because there hasn't been a night in almost 4 months that I haven't cried at night.

At some point I must have drifted back off to sleep because I was being woke up by the morning staff for breakfast. I slowly drag myself out of bed and make my way to the cafeteria. I grab my breakfast, sat in my usual spot, and eat it. Thank god, that Mr. Jones will be here today, I need to talk to him.

I finish my breakfast and head for the showers before my session with Mr. Jones.
"April, your psychiatrist is here" the female nurse says to me

"Thank you, I’ll be right out" I said, mock-politely

I put down the book I was reading and head out to the normal session spot. It is a medium sized room with a chair, a sofa, a desk, some laps. Pretty much the normal shrinks office.

"Hello April, How was your weekend?" Mr. Jones said warmly

"It was swell, same as every other weekend here, same as every other day, just swell." I responded,

"So where did we leave off on Friday?" he asked.

"We were somewhere between crazy and not crazy, I think,” I sarcastically replied.

"April, I know you don't like this, But its part of the orders from the judge."

"I know, I just hate reliving what happened"

"I'm sorry, but if you want to get out of here we have to make sure you’re stable”

"Yea, well I am stable, I have been and I didn't kill my parents" I snapped back. This man makes me angry sometimes.

"Here, let’s just start differently today, OK" he said

"Whatever, let’s just move on" My anger slowly subsiding

"So what did your weekend consist of?" he asked,

"Well let’s sees. I decided to read a few books from the library, I ended up having those same nightmares, the meds are not working, I feel numb, I don't feel like myself,” I told him.

"OK, well that's good, let’s discuss the nightmares first, and get the hardest out of the way. So please tell me about this nightmare, was it like the ones before or is this one different?" he asked

"No this was the same thing; I’m standing in the road looking at my dead mothers corpse, asking me why I did this" I flatly replied. I hate this. I hate talking about this; I just want to remember my parents happy, with smiles not dead and beaten.
"OK, well maybe we should increase your meds and see what happens, how does that sound?"

"If it will suppress these nightmares then I am happy to try it"
“OK, now do you want to tell me about the books you are reading? Or about the numb feeling you’re having?"

"Well I know the numb feeling is from these antidepressants so no need to talk about them, eventually I will feel normal again, right?"

"Yes, April eventually you will but you have to allow yourself to feel normal first"

"OK, well, let’s see, the first book I read was called 'Under his control' it was about a girl who was in a relationship with a psycho guy that she ended braking up with. Then started to like this new kid named Omar, Now that's a guy who needs you in his life Mr. Jones, Lidia's ex boyfriend was a nut let me tell you." I told him about the story I read, I like the book, it helped me relax and keep my mind occupied.

Mr. Jones chuckled a little "now see April, when you where telling me about your book, you were yourself, your face showed interest and emotion, that's a great thing." he smiled at me and I smiled back

"Thanks Mr., Jones, I know I seem miserable in our sessions but they do help, will see you on Wednesday?”

"Yes, on Wednesday, at the normal time, how about you keep reading those books and then you can tell me about them, I will be in contact with your aunt and uncle on your progress, okay?”

I headed back to my room, yes thank the god above just maybe, just maybe aunt Jenni can go for that appeal now. I been in here for 2 months and it feels like forever. I grab the next book I took from the library and start to read it. In addition, for the first time since I came here, I feel relaxed.

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OK, so what do you think so far? I know kind of boring right, well I promise it will get better just be patient with me I have to work up to all the good stuff. Also the book i cited is a actual book from watt pad wrote by MLGonzales7 and its a great book, go look for it and read it. Comment what you think and ideas are welcome.