♤ ı [3] An Everlasting Love

ı 05 ı Fill me In

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"I'm going to pick up the pieces, and build a lego house. If things go wrong we can knock it down."

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JAMES POV

There isn't a single part of me that feels comfortable leaving Blair all alone by herself. I knew her inside and out, well enough to know that she's feeling a lot of confusing emotions right now. Having gained back me and feeling that relief has been overshadowed by her grief and sadness over Damon. Being a vampire, accepting loss and other distinct emotions is very difficult, and I can only hope she is allowing herself time and space to sort out her thoughts. 

Blair is an independent woman, and I love her for it. Sometimes all she needs is a day to herself to figure out her thoughts. I know she's struggling with her mind at the moment, and although she wants to believe I am alive, her mind is trying to protect her from any more pain.

The least I can do to calm the heat that started brewing the moment I came back is to step away and let things cool which is why I agreed to go with Joel to this random coffee shop where he supposedly set up a meeting with two people I only know as strangers.

"In the two years you've lived here, you never once bought or compelled yourself a car?" I ask Joel, as we sit in the back seat of a taxi.

He turns to me, taking his elbow off of the door where his head was rested upon. "Never needed to big brother. The majority of my time here I spent working, sleeping, and eating in a bar," he explains, triggering my vague memory that I have from watching from the other side. I remember watching him sleep at the bar after working long night shifts, and I remember how badly I wanted to scold him.

"Why am I not surprised?" I sigh sarcastically, only earning myself a nudge in the arm.

"Hey! It was good while it lasted," he defends himself, before contorting his face into a more perplexed expression. "Although, I guess we could've taken your truck that was parked in Blair's garage," he says with a shrug.

"Why are we in a bloody taxi if my truck is parked in Blair's driveway?" I ask with a clenched jaw, turning to Joel for answers only to see him shrug.

"Too late now buddy," he says, "We're already here." 

We both jump out of the taxi after Joel pays, the two of us just standing here as we stare at the small little cafe. I place my hands in my pockets out of nerves, slightly fearing myself. It's been such a long time since I've been around people, actual human flesh people. The fact that I have to clench my jaw to conceal my fangs that so eagerly want to form isn't a good sign. The worse part is, we haven't even entered the cafe yet.

"James?" Joel asks, noticing I'm not following him. "Are you okay?"

I direct my gaze from the people sitting in the cafe to Joel who stands in front of me with questioning eyes. "I'm fine," I assure him, using my best stern voice as possible. "Let's go," I say, not wanting him to suspect anything further. I've created enough problems by coming back, and frankly the last thing everyone needs right now is to be concerned about my vampire blood lust- a problem I haven't dealt with since the 1600's might I add.

Joel doesn't question me further and I don't show any signs of vulnerability which seems to just do the trick. Instead I follow him inside the shop, my line of sight purposely missing the several tables of people along the isle. 

However, just because I'm not making eye contact with them doesn't mean I can't smell the blood within their veins or hear their hearts thump against their chests. I begin to grow more restless and sweaty just thinking about it, but thankfully Joel comes to a stop just in front of a table. Although, since my eyes are glued to the ground, I don't register quick enough that we've stopped, and end up colliding with Joel from behind.