Good Little Soldier - Castiel

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"I'm warning you, Lucifer," I shouted at him in vain. "Give Cas back. You can have any other vessel you want. You can finally have me. You wanted a Winchester, right? Well you got one."

I would do anything to save Cas. My big brothers needed him to help stop Lucifer in the first place. I would be of no help to them anyway. And something needed to be done about the Casifer problem.

"What's up with you Winchesters and sacrificing yourselves? Do all of you have a death wish?"

"Yeah, pretty much," I laughed bitterly. "Just get it over with. And Cas lives. Leave him alone."

And then it happened. Before I knew what was happening, Lucifer poured out of Cas and into me. It felt like air was being squeezed out of my lungs. He was so powerful. No wonder Sammy was the only vessel strong enough to hold him. He was tough. I wasn't.

'(Y/N), you realize what you've done. I'm not going to hurt you. Your brothers on the other hand, they might be a different story.'

I could still see. I could still hear everything around me. I was just pushed into the back of my mind. I was no longer in control. I was just observing. It was odd. Like being caught in a weird dream. I could see Cas on the ground. He was breathing, but unconscious.

'He's going to be okay, right?' I shouted at Lucifer in my head.

'Yeah, yeah. The angel will be fine. You do realize your brothers could kill you now, right?' I could feel his smirk.

This thought had occurred to me, but I chose to ignore Lucifer. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction.

------------------

It had been a few weeks since Lucifer had entered my body. I'd kept myself quiet. I let him do what he needed to since he was to powerful for me to fight.

"How long 'til you develop Stockholm syndrome and start talking to me again, sweetheart?" Lucifer asked aloud.

I remained silent.

"Come on, pay attention to me, I'm bored. You Winchesters love to ignore me."

Again, I remained silent.

It went on like this for a while. We'd moved along to different towns, Lucifer carrying out different parts of his plan, killing priests and trying to get people to worship him again. He wanted human sacrifice, and no one was biting. He had become a bit impatient. My brothers hadn't showed up yet, and I was getting worried. But I knew they had a plan. They always have a plan. At the moment, Luci and I were sitting on the bed in a motel room in Kansas. Not sure which city. At this point, I'd learned to tune out most of the outside.

Suddenly, the door burst open. Lucifer rose to his feet slowly. He didn't seem worried. There was an angel blade in my pocket.

It was Sam and Dean finally, toting along Cas. Their faces were angry at first, then shocked.

"(Y/N)? God, we've been so worried. We've been looking for you for weeks! What happened? Any news on Lucifer?" Sam rambled.

Okay, what?!

"Cas doesn't remember what happened. He says you were arguing with Lucifer or something, and when he woke up, both of you were gone. Are you okay?" Dean asked, worried.

No no no no no no no no no...

"Yeah, I'm fine," Luci answered rather convincingly. "I've been following the trail of death he has been leaving. Sorry I didn't leave a note or anything. I was so caught up with everything."

Dammit.

"Do you know what his vessel looks like?" Sam inquired.

"Yeah, he's been taking the body of a few different priests since none of them can hold him very long. I don't know what he looks like now though. He leaves them in a bloody mess," Luci continued. He was playing the part well. This was not good. I was surprised Cas couldn't tell what I was at first, but then I remembered his angel juice was drained thanks to Luci. Dammit, boys.

"Ready to go kick some angel ass?" Dean asked, walking back outside.

"Hell yeah."

We all piled my things into the impala and got inside. Dean and Sam piled me with questions about my whereabouts. At this point, I was fighting Luci as hard as I could, but it wasn't enough. I just wasn't strong enough, and my strength was fading. Luci seemed angry that I was straining so hard. He flickered out for half a second, then was back. I couldn't fight anymore. I couldn't do that again. I was too weak. But it was good to know I had it in me. Surely, I was going to pay for that later.

Once we arrived at the newest church/crime scene, the boys stopped me and held out their angel blades. So naturally, Lucifer got out mine.

"Something's up with you, (Y/N). You sure you're up for this?" Sammy asked.

"Yeah, Sam," Luci responded. Castiel stopped dead in his tracks. Suddenly, I was trapped in holy fire. He had been prepared after all.

"What's going on, guys?" Luci asked them all.

"Lucifer," Cas greeted.

"Brother," he responded, my eyes glowing a new blueish shade. The boys looked shocked and angry.

"Let her go," Dean demanded, taking on big brother mode.

"You know holy fire can't hold me," Luci began, smirking. "And (Y/N)'s body feels so right. You can't make me give up my new favorite toy."

"She's still in there, right?" Sam asked, scared.

"Of course, Sam. I had no intention to hurt her. She practically begged me to get inside her. You know how desperate women can be, Dean–"

"You son of a bitch!" Dean exclaimed. "(Y/N), how could you do this. We can't hurt him if you're inside. We can't do this."

"Oh well," Luci said. "That's the way the ball bounces, Dean-o. Wait. What's," he ground out, suddenly in pain. "H-happening. Wh- UGH."

Suddenly, all I could see was white light as it felt like a weight was being lifted off my shoulders. Luci was being pushed into the ground via magic of some kind. My body fell to the ground, me being slowly pushed back into the front of my mind. The holy fire was long extinguished.

"(Y/N)," Dean shouted as he dropped to his knees beside me. "Come on, (Y/N). Wake up. Come on."

I groggily nodded and sat up cautiously.

"What the hell were you thinking!" Dean burst.

"I was just trying to help," I mumbled weakly, feeling scared. "I didn't think that–"

"No, you didn't think."

"Dean," Sam interrupted. "She's a wreck. She just had Lucifer inside her for two months. She's drained. I know. We need to let her recover. This isn't her fault. She knew we needed Cas, and she put herself in harm's way. It's incredibly stupid, but she's been brave. And fighting. I wouldn't have been able to send Lucifer back to the pit if he hadn't been severely weakened," Sam defended.

I was still a bit ashamed since Dean was mad. I hadn't meant to make my older brothers worried. I just wanted us to be able to stop him. If he had Castiel, we wouldn't have had a chance.

"(Y/N), let's go home. You need your rest. We'll leave Cas with you. We need to make a little visit with Crowley to make sure that Lucifer is a sealed deal," Sammy said, acting all big brothery.

"That sounds good. I just don't want you guys to get hurt. You guys and Cas are all I've got," I said to my brothers. They looked at me with some pity and helped me into the impala. It was a long and quiet drive back to the bunker. I had my head on Castiel's shoulder, fast asleep. He held me the entire way.

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