Love. It's Complicated {completed}

Chapter 17

        When i returned to the living room it was to open the door for the other guests. Lauren was trying to get Harry to look at all her pictures on her twitter page. He didn't look to interested in her. I opened the front door and let Madison, Lisa. and the rest of the girls from the company. I greeted them with a smile. A fake one at that but then soon forgot about everything when all of us started to talk. We must've talked for a good hour or so before more and more people started to arrive. People that we knew from work and they brought their friends and they brought their friends. So it turned into a full fledged party of 40 people. Alexis turned on some music and we danced. Everyone was dancing and having a great time. And when i thought about it i was too. I wouldn't feel good about it tomorrow but i didn't care. Not one bit. Just having fun.

          When i stepped out of the living room and into the kitchen i saw Lauren.  great just what i want to deal with. I walked in grabbing her attention by complete accident. She seemed to want to be my best friend. She started to babble about her twitter account. i couldn't just be rude. I thought about making up an excuse to get away from her but i couldn't because now she was taking out her phone. Damn it! She shoved her Samsung galaxy right in front of my face. She went on about how she followed everyone on twitter and how that she could get any concert tickets to anyone with her 'people'. I zoned out thinking about how Harry could love someone so...... so......  clingy and so ugly and up in your face. "So." She said in her annoying voice, " Would you follow me on twitter or no?" She staired at me with the blankest look like she was waiting for me to say yes and everything to be perfect. I lied, i didn't want to follow her, let alone, be updated on every detail of her life every day. "I don't have one, I'm sorry.' I apologized to try and seem nice-ish. She just shrugged and said. "Then maybe you should get one. gosh." and she walked out to talk to Harry again. "What a little bitch." I said to myself as i grabbed a pop in the fridge. As i made my way to the living room someone grabbed me and pulled me into my room. "We need to talk." It was Harry. "Ok," I said shyly as i sat at the end of bed.  This was gonna suck.

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           There was a long awkward silence. I broke it. "So............." . His hands ran over his face and he got angered quickly. "SO????,  that's all you have to say at what's happening." He started  to complain. 'ME, all I have to say. Your the one who sprung this on me.' I dramatically mocked him.     " This is Lauren my stupid ugly annoying girlfriend who I'm getting married to and yeah...." I furrowed my eyebrows. I crossed my arms to hear his side of it even though he had no argument. And knew i was right. I could see the wheels in his brain try and make his argument valid. " She's not ugly stupid or annoying. Just really outgoing.' He spoke. "Yeah, a little too outgoing, don't you think?' i criticized. I was being super bitchy and i had to stop, no. He deserved this. After all he's done to lead me on he needed to know what it felt like. I was never like this but it felt ok given of the circumstances. I waited for him to come back with something but he didn't. Harry's expression changed fast and he came over to me and grabbed my waist pulling me off of the bed.. I was just about to ask what the hell was he doing but his lips pressed against mine. Our lips moved together violently, almost as if he was planning this and he really wanted to kiss me. Everything to me froze and we stood there kissing. I knew what was happening was wrong, but the way he touched me drove my heart-beat rocketing thought the roof and his kiss was delightfully intoxicating. I paused and detached our lips. We were both breathing heavy from the long passionate kiss. I didn't know why or how but i wasn't mad at him anymore. He suddenly grew a smile and started laughing. "What?' I asked. He stopped laughing and started to kiss my neck. His hands snaking up my back. They were cold so i shivered. He moved his lips up and down my neck to my cheeck then my jawline. I didn't want to have him seduce me. Believe me i tried to fight it. His charm was to strong knowing Harry for half my life i would be able to know when he wanted someone he would try and charm them. He was clever like that but it felt good. I never ever imagined that the screaming match that started not even 15 minutes ago would turn into this. He then grabbed my leg and pulled it up to his side without breaking the kisses. He wanted this and i hated to say it but so did i. I wrapped my hands around his neck. I heard him mutter something, " Jump.' It was faint but i knew what he was saying. I did as he asked and Harry moved us to my bedroom wall. He slid his hand from my knee to my upper thigh. His lips reached mine once more and it felt great. I had never felt this good ever. I wanted him but thoughts raced through my mind as i regained my self control. What are you doing!!!?? Don't. He .Is. Getting. Married. Soon to be. This is wrong. Stop before you ruin it.  I felt his hand inch up to my bra i had to stop before i ruined something that i wasn't meant to interfere with. I quickly inhaled a breath and took his hands away. He looked at me out of breath,"What's wrong?" Like he didn't think that what was happening was wrong. "What's wrong? Whats wrong is that you want to be with me but your with her. This is wrong. We can't do this behind her back. I'm sorry but i just can't." I fixed my dress and ran my fingers through my hair. If i stayed i would do something that i would regret later. I left him standing there, hair messed up, out of breath and alone. I didn't look back because if i did i would make a bad decision and right now i already have enough of those.

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           I returned to the party and sat on the couch. Everyone was just talking around the living room and laughing. I could'nt speak with anyone right now. It was to common for me to blurt out my secrets when I'm nervous. irrelevant or not. Alexis came over and sat next to me. "You ok? you look like hell." She joked. It made me smile but it soon disappeared when I saw Harry push Lauren up against the wall and start to do what he had just done to me. I was now officially broken. Nothing left to piece back together. Nothing. I had zero energy to be mad and none to cry or have any emotion whatsoever . I just stopped watching and continued the party. Now to me the party was no fun at all. My whole world was crashing down in front of me and i couldn't even tell Harry how i felt about him because he's already taken. I let a single tear fall from my face before quickly wiping it away before anyone saw. and that night i swore i would never fall for him again even if he wanted me. Somewhere deep inside of me knew i wouldn't keep that promise but i had to. It was my only hope if i wanted to stay sane.