Rogue Txt: A Star Wars Story [#Wattys2017]

Somebody's "Ben Solo" For Too Long

Blah blah blah disclaimer
==========================================
Jyn Erso: Somebody should get married in this chat

Orson Krennic: Somebody did. Me and you.

Jyn Erso: WELL THEN WHAT DO YOU SAY WE DO SMART GUY

Orson Krennic: Well, according to my forth wall breaking abilities and the majority of the reader's comments, this book should end with Bodhi single.

Jyn Erso: So what does that mean?

Orson Krennic: Cassian, you, me, Chirrut, Baze, and pretty much everyone else in this book gets married.

Jyn Erso: Who would date K-2SO?

K-2SO: THE QUESTION I HAVE BEEN ASKING MYSELF

Lyra Erso: Why are you three texting each other? You guys are literally sitting at the same table!

Orson Krennic: I should be asking you that as well. Why did you text us instead of walking over and telling us to get off our phones?

Lyra Erso: ...

Ahsoka Tano: Who should I be shipped with?

Ezra Bridger: That's easy. Kallus

Agent Kallus: Heck no. I'm with Zeb

Garazeb Orellious: Have I even spoken in this chat before?

Sabine Wren: I have no idea

Armitage Hux: shadks

C-3PO: Armitage Hux wants to know who he would be shipped with?

Darth Vader: That's easy. This guy

[Darth Vader has added Ben Solo to group chat]

Ben Solo: GRANNNNDPPAAAAAAA

Armitage Hux: fk nu not dat arse

R2-D2: wt bout me fam?

Ahsoka Tano: You go with Brendol

Brendol Hux: WHY?!?

Thawn: HAHAHA!! I get it! You both say fam!

Wilhuff Tarkin: ...

Galen Erso: I want Galennic to happen

Lyra Erso: Well, guess what? You're stuck with Lyren.

Chirrut Îmwe: Can I be shipped with Mon Mothma?

Mon Mothma: No Chirrut. I'm with Ackbar

Jyn Erso: Chirrut, you and Baze would be good

Chirrut Îmwe: Okay

Sharky Rook: MY GAY SHIP

Baze Malbus: :)

Cassie the Cat: What about me?

Cassie the Cat: WHY IS MY NAME STILL CASSIE THE CAT?!?

Jyn Erso: You belong to me

Sharky Rook: I made the phones permanently keep our names this way

Jabba Hutt: CASSIAN IS MINE

Cassie the Cat: This is why you should stay single Bodhi

Sharky Rook: I DONT WANNA BE SINGLE

Orson Krennic: I ship Cassitubby

Cassian's Teletubby: Me too

Ezra Bridger: So if Jyn and Cassian are a thing, Baze and Chirrut are a thing, let's assume Bodhi and K-2SO are a thing, than who's Krennic with?

Wilhuff Tarkin: Me

Thawn: Me

Galen Erso: Me

Leia Organa: Nobody

Darth Vader: The Death Star

Luke Skywalker: His aspirations

Ben Solo: GRANNDPAAAAAAAA

Armitage Hux: Death

Orson Krennic: I AM MARRIED TO JYN!!

Cassie the Cat: NOBODY CARES

Orson Krennic: I hate you.

Cassie the Cat: I never liked you to start with

Armitage Hux: DATS SUM SERIOUS SHEEET GOIN DOWN DERE

Lyra Erso: Indeed, it is.

Ben Solo: GRAAAANNNNDDPPPAAAAAAAAA

[Armitage Hux has kicked Ben Solo from the group chat]

Armitage Hux: Lel
===========================================

How could you kick out your boyfr--ehh, heh, I mean, Knight of Ren out of the chat, Armitage!?

Please review!