Rogue Txt: A Star Wars Story [#Wattys2017]

Die Cliché

I was daydreaming about Rogue One and then that night I had a dream about Rogue One. Except that everyone was replaced by Attack on Titan characters and they started pointing out all the clichés in Rogue One. So here's a parody.

Also, I hate this song. But I parodized it anyway.

I don't own anything.
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Eren Jaëger: Guys have you ever noticed that you all died young in Rogue One

Jyn Erso: GJALFOALFJENGKSLFF

Cassian Andor: Well duh

Eren Jaëger: Anyone feel like that's cliché?

Cassian Andor: No 💩 Sherlock. Most story arcs have at least one character that dies at a young age

Eren Jaëger: *cough*

Cassian Andor: And then there's you... who has... all the main characters... who are young... die...

Eren Jaëger: Thank you for the painful reminder

K-2SO: EREN IS RIGHT!! There are so many clichés!

Jyn Erso: AND SAD DEATHS

Orson Krennic: LET'S GRIPE ABOUT THE CLICHÉS!

Lyra Erso: IN PARODY FORM!

Galen Erso: Lyra thats a fragment

Lyra Erso: Says the guy who has no punctuations whatsoever.

Jyn Erso: OMG STOP

K-2SO: SING

Baze Malbus: WHALES

DayMungo Tarungo: YASS

[Orson Krennic has kicked DayMungo Tarungo from the group chat]

Orson Krennic: What is it with crossovers?

Eren Jaëger: We're cool

K-2SO: SING!!

A/N: Once again; it's the whole song from here out.

Jyn Erso: I'm 22 and I've lost my parents cliché.
Oh, well. I guess I'll make the best of the day.
So while I plot my revenge,
I'll live my life to full extent. I'm not dying young.

Jyn Erso: Not gonna die young.
I'm not dying young.
I'm gonna fight, cause tonight I'm not gonna die young!

Lyra Erso: Oh darn, I'm killed. I died young, that makes me number one.

Bodhi Rook: Jedha, I'm back home
Captured and blind folded *groan*
There's that cat, name's Cassie
Lookin' hot while climb-

Cassian Andor: Bodhi!!

Bodhi Rook: Convenient timing, so the heroes can meet.

K-2SO: Cliché

Bodhi Rook: To leave the story Saw admits his defeat.

Saw Gererra: Touché

Orson Krennic: I want a promotion, dammit (Palp).
There's more than aspirations to me.
Built the weapon, don't I get credit? (Uh huh!)

Galen Erso: I built it all, not Krenny.

Chirrut Îmwe: I hear his heart beat, order-driven for sure.
Oh, tell me Baze. Does he look like a killer?

Galen Erso: Don't shoot those engineers!

Baze Îmwe: What did you say? It's cliché! That's how Lyra died young.

Lyra Erso: ...

Jyn Andor: Oh crap, Papa died.

K-2SO: He was 55.

Cassian Andor: The wise die old

Lyra Erso: Should have told him he could have died young.

Orson Krennic: Hey, I'm old too

K-2SO: But not wise
You dead at 51

Bodhi Rook: Whose next? Place you bets.
Everybody has to guess.
2/3 of the crew at Rogue One
Aren't yet 30,

Saw Gererra: DECEPTION!

Jyn Erso: The sassy sidekick is the first one to go

K-2SO: Oh no!

Jyn Erso: Next two Asians who were the stars of the show.

Chirrut and Baze Îmwe: Uh oh!

Bodhi Rook: Stupid wire kinks at a time

Wire: Hah!

Bodhi Rook: When the mission is out on the line.
Holy Snoke, the Death Star's in sight

Death Star: Hi

Jyn Erso: Guess we're dying young tonight

(Though we died
It's alright
We won, aight!)

Everyone: I hear the gunshot as they rage through the air!

Jyn Erso: Cassian lived!

K-2SO: Wait a second, that's not fair

Orson Krennic: This plot line is so old.

Lumíere Kenobi: At least it's not a reboot of a tale that's been told!

Everyone: I hear the gunshots as they rage through the sky
Oh, someone died!

Baze Îmwe: Hold on, wait. Who was that guy?

Nameless guy: The nameless all waste away

Eren Jaëger: Welcome to "Clique of the Dead Cause Their Story's Cliché"

Orson Krennic: My head became fried.

Cassian Andor: I'm short on my rhymes

Orson Krennic: The end

Bodhi Rook: Okay!

Cassian Andor: We'll just say
This story is cliché.
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Welp. Hope you liked this Force awful parody...

Sorry, Chirrut.

Please review!