Rogue Txt: A Star Wars Story [#Wattys2017]

Sassing

The Sass masters of Rogue One compete against each other.

I don't own anything, unfortunately.
========================================
K-2SO: Roses are red, violets are blue, the Force made us beautiful, what the hell happened to you?

Orson Krennic: I'm sorry, was I supposed to be offended? Because the only thing that offends me is your ugly mug.

K-2SO: Dude, I'm fabulous, not a mirror

Orson Krennic: Well you are quite hot. You might want to be careful with overheating your circuits.

K-2SO: Unfortunately, I cannot. The Captain said I must find the rogue homosapien back to the zoo. Thankfully, it's texting me so I can track its position.

Orson Krennic: I'm shocked. You actually know how to track someone. Well done, you match first-grade me.

K-2SO: Dude, please. I am a droid. I got style, I got class. I got circuits. I got a**

Orson Krennic: Keep on talking. Maybe you'll say something intelligent.

K-2SO: I'm talking like an idiot because that's the only language you understand

Orson Krennic: Are you sure I'm not the one talking down at your level?

K-2SO: Shhh... do you hear that? That is the sound of all the ***** I give.

Orson Krennic: If you're waiting for me to care, please pack a lunch. It's going to take a long time.

K-2SO: Perhaps you should do the same. You are the one that eats.

Orson Krennic: It's better for people to think you're stupid than to run your circuits and prove it.

K-2SO: Keep rolling your eyes. Maybe you'll find a brain back there  

Orson Krennic: I think it's time to dismantle you.

K-2SO: If I wanted to die, I would climb up your ego and jump down your IQ

Orson Krennic: I would like to confirm that I do not care.

K-2SO: Congratulations. You are a world class douche.
========================================  
I am not a sassy person so I ended up finding a bunch of quotes and just kind of threw them together. Hopefully this is somewhat funny.

Please review!