Fifty Shades of Living

Home Again

APOV)

It's so good to be back home. The entire plane ride home Christian and Elliott reminisced about how they took out the jockstraps. Telling their Dad how they were dealt with. I think this has become a turning point for them. They are getting along like true brothers should. We had dinner together as a family every night the last few days. All in all, our vacation seemed to fly by.

My ankle is healing nicely. Christian even convinced me to walk the beach with him. We even took Teddy down a couple of times. I wouldn't go in the water, but can you blame me for that. We collected seashells on our walks. Took lots of pictures. I came up with a really cute idea too. I gathered some beach sand in a zip bag and shells in another. I found this unique art project online. I took a mason jar, put the sand in the bottom and shells on top. Making a memory of our time there. I decided to place it on our bathroom counter where we can see it every morning. 

It's late Sunday evening as we drag into the house. Even Gail and Taylor look exhausted. 

"Here Gail, I'll take Teddy and put him to bed", Christian says as he lifts him from her arms.

Gail looks a bit shocked, but instantly smiles and nods.

As Christian carries Teddy to his room it became apparent that he had a dirty diaper, cause Christian began coughing, gagging and turning his head side to side while saying, "Whoa son! You're making daddy's eyes water!"

I couldn't help it. I was biting my lip so hard to make sure he was out of ear shot before I lost it and started laughing. Taylor and Gail joined in.

Taylor even whispered out, "Welcome to fatherhood Christian."

This was too good to pass up. I quickly and quietly raced to Teddy's room, took out my phone and started recording. Standing there videoing Christian unfastening the diaper, only to turn and gag at the sight and smell. 

"Oh God....*cough*...*gagging*
...How can something so small make something so massive and disgusting!"

Teddy begins giggling and cooing at his dad as Christian begins having a full on conversation with him.

"Ah ha I see how it is...Laughing at daddy already huh. You know there was a time I thought I'd never do this. But us Grey men are tough! We can handle anything. How the hell did you get poop clear up your back? I think.... we might.... need to.... open up...a window.... son. Oh God....*gagging more*....I think I just threw up a little in my mouth."

I'm dying laughing, Teddy's laughing. I look behind me and Taylor and Gail are laughing so hard that Gail is on the floor in tears.

"Oh shit....I think I peed myself laughing, Jason." Gail calls out.

This just set me off even more. I laughed so hard I could barely breathe. Meanwhile Christian realizes what's happening and calls out, "This shit isn't funny!"

"Oh yes it is!" We all call back in unison.

We all decide to stand there in the doorway watching and trying not to laugh. Looking in we see Christian has used nearly 20 wipes now, and he still has a bit more wiping to do. Suddenly, and without warning, the coolness hits the baby just right and a steady stream springs forth hosing his dad's shirt up to his neck.

"No no no no no...Don't pee, don't pee, not on me....stop peeing on me. Someone hand me something to cover him quick!"

I'm laughing so hard that I'm snorting. I walk into the room, tears of laughter running down my face in-between snorts, over to the changing table, bend down and hand Christian a wash cloth and diaper.