Bong Rips and Blowjobs (A Game Grumps Fanfiction)

+-+ Twenty +-+

tw: eating disorder and self harm

Getting food was awkward, I didn't feel like eating and I didn't want the looks from people asking why I wasn't eating. Putting small things on my plate, I stay away from food that would be too heavy on my stomach.

I find a chair next to my mom and Patty sits on my left. I push the sleeves back on my arms a little just so they wouldn't drag in my food.

Eating was uncomfortable because I was a lot slower than anyone else. Once the entire plate was cleared, Patty squeezed my leg. It was a reassuring gesture that I really needed in this moment.

"That was a lot of food. I'm proud of you." Patty whispers leaning close to me.

Last night we had pizza, which he watched me eat one slice then complain my stomach hurt. Not long after I was in the bathroom throwing up, Patty crouched next to me. Holding my hair and rubbing my back lightly. Even holding me on the bathroom floor as I cried.

The doctors told me food would be hard because I was recovering from an easy food diet, but I never thought it was this hard.

The conversations seem to start up again. Leaving Patty and I in an awkward middle. He reaches over to grab my hand and holds it tightly.

"I really am proud of you." Patty says, rubbing his thumb over my hand.

I wanted to kiss him so bad, but with my luck someone would notice. As we're sitting I can feel my stomach getting heavier.

"I can't. I need to go." I whisper before quickly running off to find a bathroom.

I slam a stall door shut before throwing up. My throat was burning as a few tears slid down my cheeks. Grateful that Patty didn't follow me this time.

Tears slid down my cheeks as I placed my hand on the wall. I wanted someone to hold me as I cried, to tell me I would be okay and that this wasn't going to last. But somewhere deep down I also wanted to be alone, crumbling in my own self hatred.

Once I had calmed down, I stood up and flushed away my vomit. I spent a long time washing my hands and still felt disgusting. My hands now red from how hot I made the water to try and wash everything off.

You can't relapse right now.

Patty would be so disappointed in you.

I stopped washing my hands and took the tiny razor blade out of my pocket. A few small cuts on my thigh wouldn't bother anyone.

Three cuts turn into five.

Five then become ten.

Finally stopping with twenty or so cuts. Blood beading and making thin lines down my thighs.

I put the pants back up, splashing my face with water to calm myself down. When I look decent I leave the bathroom and make my way back to the table.

Patty immediately grabs and holds my hand where everyone can see. Holding it tightly, but not too tight that it hurt. Just enough to reassure me that he was there for me.

"Are you guys a thing?" My aunt asks a few chairs down as her husband tries to stop her.

"Yes ma'am, we are." Patty responds and she drops her fork down loudly onto her plate.

"You know how disgusting you guys are right? How much you're ruining our world with your sin?" She says standing up as her voice escalates.

I can see Patty shaking with rage, knowing how easily he could take her down. Trying my hardest to calm him down he drops my hand.

"Patty please-" I whisper, grabbing his thigh to try and ground him.

"Do you not realise how close he was to dying without me? How shitty it would have been to have a funeral for Avi and Danny?" Patty shouts back and everyone's eyes flash to me.

I run out quickly, hearing my chair drop to the ground. Trying to get back to the bathroom but it was hard to see through the tears.

I hear Patty calling after me but right now I wants to be alone with my thoughts. Let them eat me up and destroy what little amount of confidence I had left.

Once safely in the handicap stall, I pull my jeans back down and stare at the blood. The blade in my pocket felt as if it was screaming, begging for attention.

They hate you. Do you know how happy they would have been if you really died?

Pulling the piece of metal out, I press harshly into my leg a few soft sobs escaping my mouth. The sobs slowly get louder, getting me to drop the blade onto the floor. I was clean for so long and it takes one small argument to throw me back over the edge.

The cuts are overlapping at this point, beading up and falling down my leg. But I deserved this, every cut and every suicidal thought, I deserved.

"Danny?" Patty asks, his voice soft and hoarse as he knocks on the stall door.

"I see your shoes babe. I know it's you. Open up please." Patty says against the door, his voice fading off.

Pulling up my jeans, I try to hide the self harm and open the stall door. Patty quickly pulls me into a hug, holding me extremely tight.

"I fucked up and I know that. I had to explain- I bullshitted and said an alley fight. I didn't want them to worry about you babe." Patty says, sobbing into my shoulder.

"I'm okay. I promise I'm alright." I say rubbing his back and tightening my grip on him.

"Lunch is over. Let's just go to the hotel and take a nap or some shit. I don't care. I want the day to be over." Patty says against my shoulder.

((Good day/afternoon/night! This story is slowly taking many different turns.
Remember to love yourself! -Kells❤))