Bong Rips and Blowjobs (A Game Grumps Fanfiction)

+-+ Forty Two +-+

+ PATTY'S VIEW +

For the first few days it felt wrong, Danny wouldn't touch me at all. It was like I was being treated like a fragile piece of art when in reality I just wanted him to hold me and tell me it would all be okay.

The scars are still extremely prominent and I honestly hated looking at them. Faded red lines trailing up both my forearms and damaging the tattoo I had placed there to keep myself from doing this.

The shower had always felt like a safe place for me, but now I hated the experience. Washing my hair placed my arms close to my face which made them closer to my eyes.

The constantly flowing water also hid how hard I was crying a lot of the time. I found that the shower was the safe place in the house where I could be alone. Cry my heart out and go sit with my fiancé that I'm not even completely positive loves me anymore.

"Pat? You alright?" Danny asked, knocking on the bathroom door.

"Yeah I'm fine. It's nothing don't worry about me." I mumbled, rubbing my face to try and rub the tears into my skin.

It hurt more that he wasn't calling me Patty or any cute pet names. We are engaged for fucks sake and he treats me like I'm just his roommate.

"Can we talk actually?" I asked, stepping out of the shower and drying off quickly.

I wore a large sweater, a faded colour of red. It hung on me loosely and it make me feel more secure, like I was wearing a blanket.

"Yeah. Meet me downstairs on the couch?" Danny suggests and I agree, leaving the bathroom when I hear him walk off.

Before stepping out I catch a small glimpse of my eyes. Slightly red from crying so hard which was probably what Danny heard. It's been over two weeks since I was hospitalised and I still feel just as alone as I did there.

Danny was sitting on the couch, a plain v-neck t-shirt on with gym shorts. He wasn't working today which I loved but now I wanted him gone, at least I'd physically be as alone as I feel.

"Is something going on? Do you need to talk about something?" Danny asks once I've joined him on the couch, tucking my legs underneath me so I'm sitting on them.

"I don't know. I just feel- shit I don't even know how to describe it. Like I guess alone would be a good word." I say, looking up at him and he moves closer.

Softly rubbing his thumb on my cheek and kissing my forehead before he says anything.

"You're not alone. You have me and Arin and Suzy. You don't have do to this alone."

"I feel like I'm just a roommate to you. Ever since I came back you've been very hesitant to just hold my hand or kiss me. What happened to the adorable pet names?" I asked and Danny sighs before pushing his forehead against mine.

"I felt like I was smothering you and that's what caused all of this. I'm sorry baby boy, I'll come back I promise." Danny says, his hand still pressed against my cheek.

"Now stop crying in the shower alright? Talk to me when something is bothering you, I don't want to be alone again." Danny says before softly pecking my lips.

"I feel like you don't love me anymore." I whispered and Danny moved the hand off my face.

By the look on his face I could tell he was thinking hard about what to say. Tears were already blurring my vision but now more were making trails down my cheeks. After a few soft sniffles, I rub my nose on my sleeve before leave the couch.

As I enter our bedroom I crawl under the blankets and grab a pillow. Holding it tightly in my arms as I quietly cried.

"I fucking love the shit out of you. Having you gone for those two weeks destroyed me. Suzy was forcing me to eat meals and I slept in their bed every night. When I tried to sleep in the spare room I woke up with nightmares every few hours." Danny starts as he walks into the room.

"I never mean to make you upset like this alright? I'm still learning what makes you upset and it's all still somewhat new to me." Danny says sitting at the foot of the bed and rubbing my leg through the blanket.

"I love you." Danny says, moving to lay behind me and throw an arm over my waist.

"I love you more." I say dropping the pillow and turning around in his arms to be against his chest.